Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Spring Break Comebacks for the Muffia

Dear WTMs Sorry again for the break. Have been sick and so I was total WT and did not blog. I really did not want to do a blog about how lousy I felt so I opted for a break. Am a little better but wanted to blog today because SPRING BREAK is coming up. Spring Break is an excellent opportunity the MUFFIA to showcase their superiority by telling you all of the exotic and exciting vacations that they are taking (with their perfect children). I have been a little crabby since I have been sick so I have not been taking the muffia bragging very well and have not had my usual comebacks for them. Just like Christmas vacation, Spring Break is a chance for the MUFFIA to rub it in that they get to do something exciting and fun for vacation while you (one the mortals) has to be okay with driving somewhere for the weekend or GASP! not doing anything at all. WTMs I find it very enriching to attack the muffia HEAD ON when confronted by "Bitsy" and "Muffy" as to my Spring Break plans. I will give you an example of how to do this below. The situation is that Bitsy and Muffy have cornered you, while you are waiting to pick up your precious child after school. The muffia begin to brag about how much fun they are going to have, going on in great detail about their vacation (and they always talk about how they have ALWAYS gone to Cabo....you get the idea). Before they can even ASK you about your vacation, here is your comeback:
Bitsy, how fun that you are going to the Dominican Republic for the break! I am sure that the reports of all the American kidnappings is nothing to worry about---you are so brave. And Muffy---how neat that you are skiing at your family's condo. Lucky YOU. Well, my husband and I really try to use Spring break as a time to do family things and we ALWAYS use break as a time to do some volunteer work for _________________. Husband and I feel like we are so lucky----it just seems to be the right thing to do to...GIVE BACK. We feel like we should do that so that our kids know the value of what we give them. But I am sure that you all will have fun.
Then you walk away with a big smile on your face. Try this ladies OR SOMETHING LIKE IT----and their evil muffia hearts of tar will simply melt. They will so wish that they had thought of it (doing good) so that THEY could look better. Try it, it works I promise you.

13 Comments:

Blogger ^starshine said...

So what you are saying is that the angst I felt in high school when all the cool kids got to go somewhere returns in motherhood as well? DAMNATION!!!

Does getting a little tipsy and watching MTV "Spring Break" count for anything? :)

Oh well, at least the season finale of Project Runway is tomorrow night!

3/07/2006 8:18 PM  
Blogger d34dpuppy said...

glad u r feelin better, but does this mean ur not takin me 2 cabo r even south beach?

3/07/2006 8:45 PM  
Blogger cmhl said...

ooooh, I'm gonna try it..... thanks!

3/07/2006 9:16 PM  
Blogger Lisa said...

Great idea. This is why you ladies are THE QUEEN BEES! :-)

3/07/2006 10:02 PM  
Blogger queen of wt said...

Message for Starshine-yes the antics of 7th grade do continue on into adulthood. But the difference here is now we are all smarter and there is the "white trash mom" movement to help you!
Message to d34puppy-no cabo or south beach lamb. sorry.

3/08/2006 3:33 AM  
Anonymous LaDonna said...

pretty funny - but instead of just paying lip service to the muffia and melting their tarry hearts with how you are going to stay home and do good - actually volunteer and do some good. Lots of possibilities out there. :-)

3/08/2006 3:55 AM  
Blogger queen of wt said...

Believe it or not, we really are going to do some volunteer work. We are going over to a nursing home during the break. And we may do something else at a shelter but I have to get ahold of one my friends that works there. We are doing good, just not with the frequency or drama that I let on the to muffia.

3/08/2006 4:24 AM  
Anonymous LaDonna said...

Unlike the muffia, people that truly do good do not brag about it nor do they need the accolades of others. We do it because it is the right thing to do.
I knew you were not all 'talk' Queen of the WT. Enjoy your break and your time with the kids. You are teaching them well by setting a good example.

3/08/2006 6:55 AM  
Blogger R. Robyn said...

Oh Dear God, I can't wait to be a WTM. I'm going to be the bitchiest do-gooder out there. Making all those MUFFIAS feel like dirt cause they have money coming out of the butts.

3/08/2006 7:55 AM  
Anonymous jane said...

Uh-oh...
Do I have to turn in my WTM card because I'm actually going to the Dominican Republic for Spring Break?
It's a second honeymoon for our 15th anniversary (because it's taken us that long to save up for a trip AND childcare).
Can I still be WT if I promise to shun the Muffia and only drink the cheap booze while there?

3/08/2006 2:40 PM  
Blogger Sharpie said...

LOL!! I am making a mental right now!!

3/08/2006 5:42 PM  
Blogger queen of wt said...

Note for JANE-No darling of course you don't have to turn in your WTM card if you go to a nice resort! And you don't have to buy the cheap drinks either! You just have to spy on some of the gals that you meet as some will be muffia and come back and tell us bitchy stories.

Seriously, being a WT Mom has more to do with attitude and less to do with money and lifestyle. The beef I have with the muffia moms (one of the beefs I have) is that they are show-offs. Everything that they do, whether it's vacation or baking for the class or whatever, is showing off to others to show how wonderful they are.

If being WT meant I could never go to a nice vacation, I would want to turn in my card girl! Have fun and spy for all your sisters in WT! And spread the gospel to the other WT Moms you will meet (and believe me, you will meet some).

3/09/2006 6:25 AM  
Anonymous Jennifer said...

Please help me with a work problem! The insurance company people are horrible in the building we lease our office from. They stand out in the hall and shout into their cell phones and gossip with each other. This morning, Mr. Perma-phone and Ms. Lifer were gossiping about how Ms. Lifer hates her supervisor. For twenty minutes. RIGHT OUTSIDE my glass door! Just now, I went to the bathroom, and Ms. Lifer was talking with another ins. co. lifer about the same friggin' thing! How can I get them to stop congregating in the hall and talking loudly? I know it's their building, but it's ours too. I don't want to complain to mgmt., and I can't think of anything biting yet innocuous-sounding to say. Please please help. You've already helped so much.

3/09/2006 9:54 AM  

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