Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Every Mother is a Working Mother

Please excuse me White Trash moms but I am on kind of RANT this week. First of all, let me say I am sorry that I have not been writing. I am sorry for ME as much as ANYONE but cause it is such a healthy outlet for me (and a way to connect with some other moms so I do not think I am crazy). But I am B-A-C-K because I love doing this blog and I really LOVE getting all the responses from all of you WTM's out there. WE ARE NOT ALONE. OKAY---so I have been kind of busy lately with my job. I own my own business so it can go in cycles, up and down but lately it has been very busy (which is good) but it kind of took me back to the "bad" old days a little bit. The bad old days were the days in which I still thought I could do it all and EVEN berated myself for wondering WHY I could not get it all done. The days when my now 11 year old was a toddler and I had a new baby. And I had a mother with cancer. And I had to travel for work via plane. And my husband traveled for work. I know it sounds like I am about to WHINE but please read on. I promise I am making a point. The last few weeks have been enough of an "ass bust" to give me the flashbacks to my early years of motherhood BEFORE I realized the idea that one human could do the job of three humans was simply impossible. Anyway---my husband, who was there for the insanity described above (and really thought things were just fine at the time) ALMOST tried to complain to me during my busy few weeks of work. ALMOST. But when he ALMOST complained about how HE had to: a)Actually get up, before the children to prepare them for the chaos of the day or b)Had to make arrangements with someone for picking up or taking children to a specific event/lesson or c)Something equally mundane as tasks mentioned above that I do daily while also doing a million other things WHEN HE ALMOST COMPLAINED...he was greeted with the GO TO HELL IF YOU EVEN MENTION WHAT I THINK YOU ARE GOING TO SAY LOOK. You ladies KNOW the look I am talking about. It is laser focused, you eyes turn a different color and you get that kind of demonic/satanic facial expression. This stare is VERY CLOSE (but not quite as mean) to the look you give your kids in the car, you know the "I HAVE TO STOP THIS CAR ONE MORE TIME I SWEAR TO GOD YOU WILL WISH YOU HAD NEVER BEEN BORN" look. So...I gave my husband the look. Well, I gave him "the look". He didn't complain. Not a peep. Which is good because I have to tell you if he would have made much of a fuss you would not be reading about me in this blog but reading about me in USA Today. SO that is why I am ranting today (and will be for awhile). Because it really is a total scream to see someone else try to do my mom job for a few days. I really don't care WTM's if you "work" outside the home or just "work" inside the home. Dammit----every mother is a working mother! I LOVE being a mother but the crap that is expected as "status quo" from mothers today is a joke. I will now send all of you $75 for the therapy session. I feel refreshed. PS-Once I had a therapist (this is true) and one of my best friends went to the SAME therapist. We would call or meet after sessions to go over what the therapist told us in our sessions. Naturally we found out that she told us....THE EXACT SAME THING (swear it, I promise). It was sooo funny---we quit going to the therapist and then from time to time would send the old quack postcards saying "I HEAR YOU, I UNDERSTAND YOU...THAT WILL BE $75". Of course, that was in the 80's so I guess it would be more like $125 per session now. Now I can't afford therapy because I have kids and even if I could afford it I couldn't go as I DON"T HAVE TIME. Besides that...I have a BLOG. PPS-I guess that is kind of stalking but at the time it seemed okay. But that was back in the days when I drank alcohol regularly.


Blogger momazon said...


I volunteered at the Halloween Carnival a couple of weeks ago - and of course, since they really didn't know me, I got "assigned" to the rock wall. Fine. Actually had a great time - although, what happens is, if you tell the kids "You CAN DO IT!!!", they CAN. But if your muffy mommy asks you if it's too hard, shouldn't you quit?.... Invariably, they will QUIT.

But I digress. I made arrangements with my dh to meet me there with the 3 (one 9yo, and 1 yo twins) boys after "serving my time".

All he said was, "No WONDER you hardly ever leave the house."

Because some days it's just too darn HARD to DO!!! Thanks for the laugh and the recognition.

11/09/2005 8:15 PM  
Blogger Kim said...

My daughter is 15, I keep thinking that when she gets her license my life will be a little less hectic. Yeah, I know I'm dreaming.

I had a slight meltdown a few weeks ago that ended with me standing in the kitchen yelling "I AM NOT your maid, I AM NOT your chauffeur, I AM NOT your personal assistant so quit giving me extra shit to do!"

Turns out, I was wrong. I am the maid, the chauffer and the personal assistant. I just missed the fine print on the contract. :)

11/09/2005 9:39 PM  
Blogger Mrs. Belle said...

So very true!

11/10/2005 6:18 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My husband actually left the house early monday morning laughing, so glad to go to the job that he can't stand because it was easier than keeping up with our toddler all weekend. I had asked him to watch our son while I went out with the girls on Sunday evening.
I told him it was fine to think that and that there are days I'm jealous that he gets to leave but that if he EVER let on that he was feeling that again I was going to go ballistic on him.

11/10/2005 7:42 AM  
Blogger mama_tulip said...

I needed to read this post on Tuesday, where I was literally seconds away from ripping large chunks of my hair out.

11/10/2005 10:18 AM  
Anonymous Missy said...


I'm waiting for the day that people (especially husbands) realize that even though you're just a stay-at-home mom, it doesn't mean you don't work! Ugh!! I am seriously considering buying your shirt w/this saying for a friend of mine for Christmas.

And feel free to vent to your readers anytime. Lord knows we understand where you're coming from! :D

11/10/2005 11:25 AM  
Anonymous Nilla said...

Laughed bunches!

I usually add: ...AND PUT MY FOOT UP YOUR NOSE AS I CHUCK YOU OUT THE FRONT DOOR... or something like that.

SO many people (usually MEN and women that don't have kids) think that mothers don't work.

WE work WAY more than them. Har.

11/10/2005 12:31 PM  
Blogger Christina_the_wench said...

(applauding, stomping feet, throwing Cheerios and Valiums) You go, girl! Tell MY husband all of this too! Apparently in his world, the dishes/laundry/running after the kids/shopping/making dr. appointments fairy comes to house daily.

11/11/2005 4:31 AM  
Anonymous 2girlsmom said...

I love your site! It make me feel validated.

Anyway, I had to work some overtime last week and my husband had to take over a little - I mean a little. He did one load of laundry, made dinner one night, and had to the put the girls (3 and 7) to bed two nights in a a row. Then had the nerve to tell me that he felt I owed him a thankyou for helping me out. Helping me out? Needless to say he slept on the couch that night.

11/11/2005 7:11 AM  
Blogger tresjeni said...

I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND!!!!! I am a mother of three..7, 4, and 3. I work 4 days a week as a nurse AND finishing school, HOWEVER I am married to a parttime MR MOM....I still want to kick his ass...I'm wiped out from work and studying, and could only wish I had the lil' ones energy...but that crazed man thinks he's off shift once I get home...OR it time for lovin'....ugh!!!! I claim I'm on the rag ALL the time:) He's awesome, but really, besides hooking an IV of caffeine how's a woman really expected to pull it off?????

11/11/2005 7:57 PM  
Anonymous Nilla said...

I felt like adding... the reason that the MEN in the relationship feel that we don't do anything is because we do it so well they never see the machine working!

11/12/2005 3:56 PM  

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