Sunday, October 16, 2005

Miss Minnesota Search Leads to...a NEW DISCOVERY

So my 7 year old wants to be MISS MINNESOTA for Halloween. Why? No freakin' idea. We are not from Minnesota nor do we have a large family from the great state. Since I am a WTM, I stopped questioning the "WHY" of such decisions long ago and started out in search of her MISS MINNESOTA costume for Halloween. Have any of you ever tried to find an evening gown for a 48 pound, 7 year old girl? Well, now I can say that I HAVE tried to find such an clothing item and while trying to shop in "brick and mortar" stores, LET ME TELL YOU THE LOOKS I HAVE GOTTEN. Faster than you can say...Jon Bene', the sales clerks are tag-teaming me in the store----one trying to get me O-U-T of their store while the other one attempts to "hot-line" me to Social Services. So I went searching online, in an attempt NOT to have child services coming to my door, wondering why I want an evening gown type of get up for a size 6x. WTM's don't even "go there" about the Halloween costume stores-----there is not a "Miss America" type of costume at any of them in my area. Anyway----in my attempts to fulfill my sweety-pea's desire to be Miss Minnesota WHILE not SOCIAL SERVICES coming to question me-----I turn to the Internet. It is on the Internet that I discover, something unknown to me until now....Pageant wear for children. Okay, call me a Bee-och but would one of you guys please tell me what is up with the whole "dress your 6 year old like a hooker" deal with the child and child/teen beauty contests? Clue me in if this is something that is okay or let me know what you think. My first reaction (being kind of bitchy) is to totally MAKE FUN of it all. However, I am awaiting my o so loyal and smart WTM readers to fill me in-----is this beauty contest for kid thing as cheesy as it looks or am I missing something? Readers? Remember...If you can't say something nice....Come over and sit with me.


Anonymous vnconn said...

Muffys who dress their children up in "pageant wear" and parade them around on a stage are simply living out their own sick dreams that never came true. IMHO. By the way I enjoy your blog, keep up the good work.

10/19/2005 6:17 AM  
Anonymous Carol said...

My first stop in every costume situation is the Goodwill or the Salvation Army. if you have a local Jr. league thrift store, even better. Put her in a shiny dress, a crown and a banner and too much makeup and there you go...costume.

10/19/2005 6:41 AM  
Anonymous snakeswiff said...

OO I watched a show about kid pagents....:shiver:

It's a sick twisted deal....def. agree with what vnconn said!!!

Great blog btw...feel right at home here!!

10/19/2005 7:15 AM  
Anonymous Nilla said...

Yeah... they DO dress them up like hookers to fulfill their own dreams of being "beautiful". This totally warps those little girls into thinking that exterior beauty makes them a good person.... plus, if you went to say, Malaysia, those people wouldn't think you were pretty at all. It's all totally relative. Sheesh.

10/19/2005 7:54 AM  
Blogger BabyMakes3 said...

kiddy pageantry, in full make-up and gown, is so disturbing. why would anyone want their baby to look like an adult at the tender age of 6? it is further disturbing when it is the father that is really into the pageants. It is hilarious that your daughter wants to be Miss Minnesota...and not Miss America.

10/19/2005 11:44 AM  
Anonymous still20200 said...

love the blog. ref the costume, try a chemise or nightgown of some sort. should be easy to shorten up and take in. sash, crown, tons of sparkly makeup and you have your beauty queen. ref the pageants for kids, i have no idea what that's about, i have all boys ,but it creeps me out.

10/19/2005 12:07 PM  
Blogger Maggie said...

Pageantry is big busness, they are good the kids get scholarships to college. It's a very cutthroat business. I learned a lot when Jonbenet was on tv 24-7.
PS I just discovered this site u r so funny.

10/19/2005 12:37 PM  
Anonymous Katy said...

Well as WTM that was in children's pagents as child, I have to say I begged my mom to put me in them. My daughter wants to be in them too but I haven't let her yet. The onlys we would participate in are the ones that don't alow makeup and fancy dresses ( they cost whole lot of money too)and those do exsist!

I saw a beauty pagent costume somewhere online, if I find it I wil post it. I think it was a Miss America costume but you could make your own banner lol

10/19/2005 1:35 PM  
Anonymous Katy said...

I haven't found it yet but here is a possibility:

10/19/2005 1:40 PM  
Anonymous Katy said...

Found it!!

Hope this helps!

You can also buy real tiaras fairly cheap in places like Claires

10/19/2005 1:42 PM  
Blogger Corrine said...

This is too funny. You don't even have ties to Minnesota? I wonder why she picked that state?? How funny.

My friends and I were Miss America contestants one year while in college. It was easier to find dresses then, but we just used old prom dresses. Maybe you can find something to that effect. And like Carol said-tons of make up, big hair, a banner, a crown, fake eye lashes, fake nails, etc.

Or, I wonder about Ebay?? Surely some of those pageant moms had to sell off a dress or two.

10/19/2005 3:24 PM  
Anonymous Tracy said...

My daughter was a "beauty queen" for halloween when she was three. I just took an old bridesmaid dress and cut it up the center, took out a section and resewed it back together so it would fit her. that way the zipper in the back stayed intact. I cut the hem and glued it to keep it in place. Took all of 45 min. Everyone thought i had bought also the dollar stores around here have crowns for a buck or two.

10/19/2005 5:01 PM  
Blogger Crazy Lady said...

Check the thrift stores for donated flower girl dresses. I will not mention this idea to my 7 year old, or we will competing Miss MN. ulbi

10/19/2005 7:21 PM  
Anonymous Jilty said...

Would this work?

10/20/2005 7:30 AM  
Blogger Grace said...

Minnesota is pretty great but Miss Minnesota is a different story.

10/20/2005 9:06 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

There is a documentary about children's pagents and I have to say that a lot of the parents were CRAZY! I was shocked by a woman screaming at a 3 year old that was practicing fro 5 hours that she wasn't standing right!

10/20/2005 11:31 AM  
Blogger MonkeyGurrrrrl said...

It's frightening to see the outfits (and their costs!!!) that are available to micro-humans. I once sent a few examples (AS A JOKE) to a friend who wanted my daughter to be her flower gurl. Poor thing. Tried to dissuade me in the most delicate way. :)

Not that I'm branded (okay, I'm a Slave To Tarjayz), don't forget the Dizznee stores for tiaras/ dress up items, etc. Or the barrbee aisle at Tarjayz. They've got lots of "princess" stuff that can double as beauty queen stuff.

Just watch out she doesn't look too good, then folks will assume she's a cross dresser!!! :)

10/20/2005 12:26 PM  
Blogger Melanie said...

Oh my gosh, to friggin' funny! I stumbled on your blog today and I LOVE it! Nice work.
BTW, I think Dr. Phil is doing a show on pagent Mom's today, should be fun!

10/21/2005 8:59 AM  
Blogger Melanie said...

okay, so the Dr. Phil episode is not today, maybe next week??? is possible that I was in a fit of bon bon hallucination when I heard that "promo"...

10/21/2005 9:02 AM  
Blogger muse-in-training said...

Maybe she got the idea for Miss Minnesota from the WTM-approved movie, "Drop Dead Gorgeous." Isn't it set in Minnesota?

Just a thought.

10/22/2005 7:28 AM  
Blogger mabess said...

Is there a local theater company in your town? That is where I got costumes for my chilluns when they were younger...They would sell old costumes at this time of year.

About the little miss and mister pageants...ugh...My sister in law put her little one in a pageant a couple of years ago. The kid was cute...but it bothers me, too. I suppost Miss America has to get her start somewhere...It is never too early to vasaline up those teeth and get to smilin'...Duct tape those breasts together to get the cleavage going on...

10/23/2005 12:32 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My daughter entered the county beauty pageant, due to the encouragement of her aunt (on her fathers side) who had previously won,and her daughter who had previously one. I, of course was the mom dipping snuff while I was pregnant so I didn't smoke. Needless to say she lost. She was devastated, she cried for like two hours, until my best friend came walking in with beer and pizza and told her that all of those girls where talentless sluts and she should be glad that she didn't win because then everyone would think she was a talentless slut. It was such a redneck moment that we all started laughing and she swore she would never enter again. Thank God!

10/24/2005 1:18 PM  
Blogger Lisa said...

I love your blog! Can I link it to mine? If you see my blog and decide its truly stinky and don't want to be associated with such stinkiness, then let me know and I can take the link off. I won't be offended.

Thanks and keep doing what your doing. Its funny and great.

10/24/2005 2:10 PM  
Blogger cluelesscarolinagirl said...

You are funny!!!


10/24/2005 3:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Watch out for the pageant moms - they've been known to bring down a site in their vengeance against people who are shocked.

11/03/2005 8:53 AM  
Blogger Shelley said...

what a funny, funny blog!
keep writing. btw, i wanna be a wtm... do i have to have a couch on the porch where the rottweiler and doberman sleep, or is desire all that's required of me?

11/03/2005 4:57 PM  

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