Weight/Size Comments---the "Backlash"
Dear WT Mom Readers: The blog entry about my seven year old daughter being able to wear a woman's SMALL shirt (she weighs a whopping 49 pounds, dripping wet) resulted in over 33 responses. Clearly I am not the only one in the universe that thinks the fashion industry is on CRACK COCAINE. However, yesterday we did get a comment from an Anonymous blogger, that was, if I may say so, a little HARSH. Please see paragraph below for the blog entry.
Anonymous said...
According to reliable sources (Tyra Banks on America's Next Top Model), six 8 is considered PLUS SIZE in the modeling industry. However, size 8 is probably close to the average size of HEALTHY American woman. Stop complaining about pants not fitting your huge ass and lose some weight. It's not the pants that are the problem--it's all the food you put into your mouth.
OUCH! while I DO appreciate the talents of Tyra Banks AND her steller credentials on the "America's Next Top Model" show, I would like to respond to these comments with a few facts from the National Eating Disorders Association, National Institute on Media and the Washington Times. I do not want to get into a FACT war with anyone but I think it is a safe bet that these organizations are at least on the same credibility level as "America's Next Top Model Show".
A few facts:
The average women in America wears over 140 pounds and is 5 feet, 4 inches tall.
The average fashion model is 5 feet, 11 inches and wears under 115 pounds.
Most fashion models are thinner than 98% of American women.
The average American women is a size 12. The most purchased size for
American women is size 14.
Trends today are for SMALL to be size 0-2, MEDIUM is size 4-6, LARGE is a 8-10. More and more clothing manufacturers are not even MAKING clothes for women over a size 10!
In addition, according to Plunkett's Guide to Retail Research, women's clothing sales have dropped almost 13% in the last five years---despite the fact that women's clothing makes up over 30% of ALL CLOTHING SALES.So I guess what I am saying is, my anonymous blogger, please ponder the idea that maybe we are NOT just whiny fat chicks and maybe we are just normal sized women that are sick of clothes that fit concentration camp victims and 7 year old, 49 pound little girls.
After pondering the possibility of another perspective, If you STILL want to think that a 49 pound girl fitting in to a shirt designed for an ADULT WOMAN is okay and that anyone who does not like this fashion trend needs to just eat less-----then I say two more things to you. #1-It's free country and everyone having different opinions is what makes it great. #2-Whether you know it or not, you are clearly on the road to MUFFIA MOMMY HELL. Turn back. Resist the dark side and come back to the light. WT Living is MUCH MORE FUN, trust me. Thanks for your perspective, anonymous, and please consider my comments in #2 above. WT moms, care to comment?
posted by queen of wt at 9/10/2005 08:36:00 PM
35 Comments:
Well. I think there are two different issues here:
1. current notion of beauty is thin, thin, almost skeletally thin
2. a huge proportion of Americans weigh too much for good health
The clothing industry appears caught in the middle, or rather, at extreme ends: skeletally small fashionable clothing and unattractive large clothing. There's an obvious gap that needs filling (and I don't mean unattractive small clothing!).
Hrmph. Anonymous blogger can kiss my size 42" butt.
I was a fashion model from ages 8-15. In 1990 when I turned 15, I was told I could no longer be a runway model unless I "lost those hips". Okay... I was a 38" instead of a 36"!
At the moment, I'm 5"11", 170 pound size 12. Someone told me I was FAT. Helllooooo, I have 42" hips because I had THREE CHILDREN! I don't jiggle and wiggle yet, because my legs don't look like TOOTHPICKS, I am FAT!! This is STUPID!
I actually am in the process of making a documentary about how Americans distort what is beautiful... and what you are saying is a PERFECT example. I have considered myself a WTM for quite a while now! Glad to see there are others that think like me!!
i agree with you and anne. there isn't any clothing for someone who's over a ten. i want to dress nicely, but i'm 20: i'm not going to be buying anything my mom would where at kohl's. plus, a lot of new fashions have that weird fabric strip that accentuate the breasts and hang loose over the stomach. if i try to wear it, i look pregnant. i'm overweight, but i don't look fat. i'm healthy, but i can't find clothes that fit.
what a bitch! My fav model on ANTP was Toccara the so called plus sized model. Sure she looked plus sized next to those skinny tramps but in real life? She's average in size! I think the standards out there are just crazy for women. Men can be bigger yet the women bare the children. How... fair?
I do agree that stereotypical notions of beauty have indeed caused women who are bigger to feel so marginalized... even when it comes to buying clothes. The important thing is to always remember that extra large can also be extra beautiful... It depends on perspective. Some of us who are bigger lead happier lives than skeletal thin women who believe so much in looks that they have forgotton what its like to have some ice-cream or brownie with a friend. So, to all you big women out there...Eat, be merry and screw the world.
I'd like to see that skinny anonymous b*tch.
I agree with Nina I woild like to see the skinny b*tch, that way I could sit on her and shut her up. I am "regular" sized according to the national standard by no means skinny and I love my body - you have to find something about yourself you love when all that is being thrown at you is emaciated people. I would sh*t a brick if my daughter fit into an adult shirt. And I have come to the conclusion I am a VERY white trash mom and proud of it too! I will turn all my other white trash mom friends onto this as well.
I just want to say something I heard from a friend of mine named Freddie Mercury-
"Fat Bottom Girls Make The Rockin' World Go Round"
Even though I'd read the earlier post, it didn't quite dawn on me till today how small you're talking here about your daughter. Yesterday my 7 yo son had his checkup and he weighs 48 lbs. With this bit of 'reference' it's f*ing crazy to think of a womans small being that size. Maybe they oughta save some $$ and start shoppping in the boys department - my son wears a 6/8. You can get cute T's at Target for $5. :)
well said!!!
I completely agree with all the comments made here. I went shopping yesterday and I was noticing how little the clothes looked. When I was a "junior", I was an 8, but I was also arobacizing 2 hours a day BEFORE school and 2 to 3 hours of tennis after school with no lunch and no breakfast. I am now 33 and in "misses". I am happy at size 14 but would rather be a size 10/12, but I also know that as a full grown woman with a kid what I want and what I have are two completely different things. Besides who has time for exercise when you are cleaning, working, making dinner, going back to college, doing laundry, shuttling kids here and there, etc. I am really surprised though, with all that we WT MOMS do, that we all are not Tyra Banks. Power to the WT MOMS and the ladies with some meat on their bones, as my husband says -more cushion for the pushin'!
Hear! Hear!
I could echo what everyone else ahs said... but let me just slip this to the anonymous who says she can't find clothes in size 20:
Lane Bryant. (The store, not the mail catalog.) The clothes are adorable, always up-to-date and current styles, the stock changes weekly, the sales are very, very good (especially with the real women dollars) and they have accessories that go with everything.
I've been shopping there for years, and honestly, I started to get upset when the last major diet I went on put me out of their "size range" (14-26). I'm back in it now, of course. But it's a great, great store for us more bodaciously endowed beautites.
At the gym this morning (see, fat people excercise too!) i was reading an article (i think it was in Ladie's Home Journal) about how a mother didn't know how to deal with OTHER PEOPLE'S body issues in relation to her daughter.
She noted that she never had an issue with self esteem because her mother NEVER focused on it. The writer was a slim woman; her looks i don't know about but its irrelavent. anyway she mentioned that her parents always praised her constantly on her activities or what a good person she is but rarely commented on her looks or the way she dressed. so it became a non-issue.
when i have children, i hope i will remember this article.
i had always thought that i would always tell my child how beautiful he/she is because i was always told how ugly i was.
now i think making appearance a non-issue is a better way to go.
don't get me wrong, obviously health and hygiene are tops on the list. but a chubby belly and jiggly butt or lack there of will never be a topic of discussion.
i know this is slightly off topic in regards to clothing size. but in the end its all about body image.
oh and to the size 20's
i'll second the lane bryant recommendation...to a degree. i find that their stuff falls apart to easy, except for the jeans.
but torrid.com is a great place for plus sizes in their teens to 30's. very young fashions.
also, look on ebay. you can find a lot of great deals there. i for one have been selling off quite a bit of things ranging from sizes 18-24.
nothing up today, but will be posting more this weekend if anyone is interested: http://search.ebay.com/_W0QQsassZblueQ5flilly25
Clothing manufactures are insane. Try being a big mom-(a well proportionate 5'5 250lbs) Try to find a shirt in the much minimized "womens" department at wal-mart. A button up shirt that covers below my belly is not to be had. My 8 year old daughter can fit into an adult medium shirt. She is of average height and weighs about 55 lbs.
We all should take notice of the TV, print and radio ads that tell us what is normal for size and what is the norm for beauty. These advertisers are brainwashing our children.
I understand that being fat is usually not the most healthy way to be and it is not always about taking the spoon out of your mouth. I personally take meds that inhibit my weight loss attempts. I used to try diligently to lose weight-the most I ever lost was 15 lbs. After many years of this I have almost given up. I dont watch as closley what I eat now and obsess much less. You know what-I am much happier and have taken away one major stressors in my life.
Some one needs to find the little skinny thing that made that statement, hog tie her force feed her dove bars and stuff her in a locker somewhere. Ignorance is not an excuse. Sorry so long
Oh Yeah....
Since when is Tyra banks a voice of authority/reliable source?!
SHE'S A MODEL!!!!!!
what was the source for all this information? do you have a web page that corroborates the size and sales trends?
Amen, sister !
My 8 year old very tall and thin daughter wears a size medium shirt i got her at Deb. It fits her perfectly. My 12 year old, 5'6", 127 lb daughter CANNOT find shirts.
The XLs in the junior dept are too tight, and she won't wear a misses size because those clothes are not stylish AND she is just a kid and doesn't want to wear women's clithes.
I seldom even try to buy anything for myself...it's just too depressing.
I am 5'4" and weigh 127 lbs after living most of my life being told how great i looked as a stick. during college i gained up to 130, lost it later, and am now very comfortable being rounded out. my boyfriend is totally about it and makes sure i get plenty of "booty food"-- this is coming from a very white boy who was very convinced that he could never make love to anyone whose thighs couldn't fit into his hands in one grab.
he learned very quickly that the best thing about ANY woman, round, flat, square, whatever, is
CONFIDENCE. i put most of my outfits together from thrift store clothes and ebay, since my "fate knees" don't fit very well into mall jeans lately. the bitches.
i'm not a mom yet, but when i am i hope my daughters (and sons) learn to be healthy and beautiful at any point in their physical development. i had anorexia in 5th grade and believe me, feeling ugly and hungry isn't half as much fun as enjoying what i have now (and get to share when a very lucky man.) if i start getting down lower than 124, i start eating more-- just because i really, really love looking like a woman and not a little boy!
I know that you have already gotten a ton of comments about this already but I wanted to tell you about my anorexic sister. She won't eat for days and when she does it is just picking at food. She used to be a size 12 ( 5'11 and 165 lbs) when she ate healthy and ran 5 miles 3x a week. Then she went overboard and now weighs 135 lbs and wears a size 6. For her to be a size 6 she does not eat. Her muscles are being eaten away. Her hair and nails have become brittle from the lack of nutrition. And why? because of our glamour mags and pressure to be so called perfect. People are different. Some people can wear a size small and eat to their hearts content and stay that way. Others have to really work hard to maintain themselves. For example- myself. Eating very healty and being on a controlled food program and exercising 6x a week allowed me to lose extra weight gain muscle but still I could't get below 170 lbs (I am 5'8)
So, beautiful women of all sizes:
Here's an idea for you. Take your measurements, be PROUD of them and them get creative!!!! There are gorgeous fabrics, inexpensive clothes on eBay, Men's clothes that can be altered, a veritable WORLD of DIY joy is your to discover; since when are the clothing makers of the world going to limit your 'fabric expression'?
You just might discover YOU are the next Stella McCartney, and when you debut your line YOU can choose the sizes :)
Such a frightening topic.
I'm a mum to two gorgeous girls. My eldest (she's 8) has inherited the family propensity to being a little rounded around the edges. She is not an overweight child - dances semi-professionally for 8 hours a week, swims twice a week, as well as all the usual energy-expending activities you would expect in an 8 yr old. She has muscle definition and curves, buying clothes for her is a nightmare. Buying jeans is almost impossible. Even at her age she is aware of the difficulties.
I still suffer with an eating disorder - bulimia with a starving sub-type - which is a direct result of years of being called fat or chubby as a child (well theres other stuff in that particular fray too, but the fat stuff started it up). I am terrified - totally terrified - of the way in which sterotypes of perfect bodies are thrust upon is - both in the media and in the retail industry. I'm fighting my eating disorder. On a good day I'm curvy and confident. On a bad day I'm fat and ugly. I don't want that for my daughters.
Ironically, my youngest daughter inherited her dad's skinny genes and is like a lathe.
Sometimes it isn't always about the food we put in our mouths.
I think a lot about weight has to do with natural build and metabolism.
I am a 5'8 adult male, and let's just say if i told you my weight there is a chance I would have to fight back the screams that I have an eating disorder. (Which i can assure you I don't). Everyone is different, and it wouldn't be right for us to all have the same build as our ideal. I completely agree that it is all to do with personal confidence.
Though, to the person who mentioned Freddie Mercury's fat bottomed girls, do remember the man was gay...
I agree that you don't need to be a stick, but you don't need to be a size 16-20 either, because really, neither one is healthy.
And the clothes aren't always getting smaller either. I have just recently begun to fit into my tight pants (finally) from Express. Another pair of my jeans, also from Express, began getting too big. While I was patting myself on the back, I noticed that both were labeled a size 9. How was this possible I wondered? The tight jeans were from 2001, and the big jeans, from 2004. I held them up side by side to examine them, and the pair from 2004 was an inch and a half BIGGER than the same size 3 years earlier!
Why the adjustment? I blame it on a growing America. It's one thing to be rounded, but it's another to not fit in a normal size booth at a restaurant. Americans are increasing their weight with each year (http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/products/pubs/pubd/hestats/obese/obse99.htm).
You don't need to workout excessively at a gym, just be active (take a walk instead of watching t.v.) and eating healthy (i.e. fast food and fried foods sparingly) should do something...
"You don't need to workout excessively at a gym, just be active (take a walk instead of watching t.v.) and eating healthy (i.e. fast food and fried foods sparingly) should do something... "
AHHHHHHH! I knew I was doing something wrong. Eat less and exercise. I had NO idea.
As someone who DOES eat healthy and exercises and is still heavy and awfully tired of people assuming I must sit around watching TV and eating candy bars, serisouly -- shove it. It's called a metabolism. Be glad you are blessed with a good one and don't assume you have the answers for others.
As another "skinny tramp" in the world -
Weight loss = burning more calories than you eat. Ask any nutritionist.
While I agree that there are different metabolisms, it shouldn't be used as a last resort excuse.
While not every larger person watches t.v. and sits around not trying, not every thin person (or one of healthy weight) exercises all the time either.
But come on, as another example different from anonymous, if you have trouble sitting comfortably in an airplane seat (spilling over to the next seat and thus causing another person to ride uncomfortably), chances are - you aren't being as active as you could be.
Congrats on leading a healthy lifestyle. But not everybody does.
Strange. I would keep in mind that numbers from the National Eating Disorder Association may be a little skewed; their schtick is at least somewhat influenced by being able to cry out "the fashion industry is horrible and making American women anorexic!"
There is some overlap between children's sizes and adult sizes - keep that in mind. Some adults are naturally very petite, you don't expect them to shop in the children's section, do you? I am 5'6, 117 pounds. I generally wear a small to x-small adult; small shirts from Aeropostale are BAGGY on me, even. I've also been known to buy a children's size 12-14 or 14-16 if it's a cute tee. I wear a size 2-4 pant size generally, and I know for a fact I can fit into Old Navy children's size 16s, maybe even 14s. I'm not a starving anorexic bitch. I'm not even a "tiny little thing," I feel like I'm at a fairly healthy weight and size, and I have and love my curves.
While the fashion industry is sorely lacking in making fashions in a larger size, I do think many women are too sensitive about their the number on the tag. It doesn't mean anything; it's just a number.
My personal pet peeve? Trying to buy jeans at a store, and having them be all out of 1/2s. Retailers stock more of 7/8s, 9/10s, and 11/12s than any other size. You're not the only marginalized ones.
As a dad, I don't have as much of an issue with my weight as my wife and daughter do. Sure, I'd like to lose the belly that sprouted pretty much on my 40th birthday, and the love handles that have been slowly and steadily growing since university, but all in all I'm pretty happy with myself. My wife still loves my body, so I don't worry.
My wife, however, is about 170lb and 5 foot 6. She's beautiful and stylish. She has an "hourglass" shape (lots of butt and boobs with a small waist). She's pretty confident, but came home feeling horrible after she was at our son's soccer game with the Muffia. All the muffia mommies are skinny, and they chose not to talk to my wife after she mentioned getting ice cream after the game.
My daughter has it worse. She's sixteen and has been hospitalized twice with anorexia. She's beautiful, and we've always concentrated on her soul, not her body. However, she got in with a "clique" of weight-obsessed girls in grade nine and hasn't been able to get free. She's now 5 foot 7 and 110 pounds. She looks like a skeleton, and I just want to force food down her throat.
I wish everyone could understand the harm that comes with trying to make the ideal woman look like a 10-year old boy.
Where are these clothes shrinking? Do you shop at Abercrombie? Those are not meant for adults. Try LL Bean.
I get so annoyed with people ragging on thin women. I recently stopped eating an excess of calories (over 2000/day) and took up light weight lifting (for my bones and for toning)and aerobic exercise several times a week. I lost about ten pounds. I had people calling me too skinny, anorexic..blah, blah, blah. It was disheartening. I was doing the right thing, I thought. Whole wheat, fruit and veggies, lots of low fat dairy... believe me I still ate cake, candy or ice cream every day, just a little. Went from a size 8 to a size 4 and I still have a baby roll that hangs over my pants. I'm not emaciated. WHY DO PEOPLE GET MAD AT PEOPLE WHO TRY TO BE HEALTHY and say mean things?
And there is a big problem in this country, there is no denying it. There is too much temptation with food. Portion sizes are out of control. I really saw it when I was counting calories. You would be amazed at how many calories you REALLY eat in a day! And kids...when we were growing up kids were skinny, their amazing littles bodies could handle the food...but what is happening? I am always amazed when we go to the beach and see the kids nowadays.
I am 5'9" and weigh 165 lbs. but I used to be 120 lbs. My husband prefers me the way I am now and nagged me for years to gain weight. He wants curves not bones!!
I'm sorry if this sounds mean, but I don't mean it to be. "Average" size increases yearly in America. I have to admit, that if it continues at this rate, I won't be proud to claim being the "average American weight" in 5 more years. I don't endorse that women all try to look like the super emaciated models in the fashion industry, but at least to take some pride and make an effort to stay healthy. There are so many tools nowadays to measure progress and um... non-progress - check out your BMI, go get your body fat measured, etc. No one should be proud to be fat, and no one should be strive to be anorexic.
I battled with an eating disorder in the past. I had to throw away the scales. 3 years after getting married, I've found that I gained a lot more weight than I thought. I'm currently dieting because my blood pressure has risen and because diabetes runs in my family. My diet is a version of the South Beach Diet. I gave up bread, sugar, rice, pasta and potatoes. I'm never hungry and I'm slowly losing weight.
I miss my favorite empty calories but after 1 week, the cravings went away.
I hate the image of beauty that the media presents to us. Even when I was a size 6, I thought I was fat. Back when I suffered through the eating disorder, I thought a size 3 made me look too fat.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. So true.
I'm 5'3" and my husband is 6'3". My daughter took after my husband in height and so now, at age 10, she is already 5'4" and has a FIGURE.
She has been wearing juniors Levis for over a year now. Juniors small/medium shirts.
This would be fine aside from the fact that the clothing designers feel that all women need to dress as skanks.
Thank god she isn't into fashion and I don't have to fight her on what to wear. Jeans, size 10 shoes and sensible t-shirts.
When she was in kindergarten there was this one mom who wore those hankerchief shirts from a few years ago...and would dress her daughters exactly the same way.
helltotheno... I agree about the hormones in foods. More and more girls seem to be maturing at younger ages, that isn't just a genetic thing.
Its a shame that people are so superficial that they feel they need to judge others not just based on appearance, but assumptions from reading a blog. If you lead a shallow life you will eventually drown in the deep end.
Ladies...Enjoy your families, Enjoy your life and Normal is Boring.
I'm not trying to put anyone down here... just going to add my 2 cents =)
I am a model myself, being 5'10 and 135 lbs (140 on a really bad week) and Ive been told by people in my agency to lose 15-20 lbs... but my doctor told me I am underweight for my height. Still, I feel significantly overweight, especially having to compete with girls 20 times skinnier than me Now I know that people think "Oh models are just stick thin wafes that have eating disorders" but in my experience, most of the models I know enjoy food(hell we ordered pizza before our last runway show), but we go as a group and work out at the gym 4 times a week and work off what we eat. Its a nice way to do it I think =)
I also work at Abercrombie and Fitch (when im not in college or at dance and modeling) and we get a lot of angry customers when they find out we only go up to a size 12. All I can say is, America is growing and alot of companies are almost catering to the rising obesity rate by making their clothes bigger. A&F simply isnt catering to the Growing size of children in the US and if people get mad about it, shop somewhere else.
and dont lean on metabolism as an excuse. thats sad
obesity is becoming a problem in the US and we all need to realize it.
I do aknowledge that there are people with diseases and medicines that affect their weight and that is a truly sad issue
my last point-
if you have a beautiful outlook on life when it comes to weight ( as many women in this blog do I have noticed) then more power to you
Hello,all my life,I was 125,5'7 tall,when,I came to America,I start eating "bad"food from the grocery store.Everything got too much "bad"staff in food, I being eating!!!I was born on "Organic" food,not crap!!!Everybody too fat up here and some ladys,like to be too porky!!!What about "good" ones,who,doesn't staff they faces?
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