Thursday, August 18, 2005

More Back to School Tips

Do-Blow dry hair and perhaps even wear lipstick when visiting school events (at least the first week). Don't-Drink heavily until after school events. Do-Read one normal magazine before school event. Instead of the usual PEOPLE mag (the bible), read something that you must use your brain for. Makes you sound well read even if you are not. Don't-Wear weird shoes. Don't-Wear the low rise jeans that show your underwear. Don't-Put any of the "climber" mothers or members of the MUFFIA on edge. Do-Smile. Until it hurts. Do-Act like you are happy that kids are back in school. Do-Book a highlight next week or some kind of upkeep. Do-Write me back at this blog and tell me stories of your Back to School hell.


Blogger Beth said...

Can I add you to the White Trash Wednesday blogroll?

I LOVE your site! :-D

8/19/2005 9:52 AM  
Blogger queen of wt said...

Please do add me to your WT Wednesdays Blog Roll! I would be honored (in the WT way) to be a part of the WT Wednesday!

8/19/2005 10:29 PM  
Blogger Summer said...

You are friggin hilarious! My child does not go back to school until 3rd week of Sept, we have year round school in Vegas. I am the definition of WT mom, I am a cocktail watress in a casino, my husband is a carpenter, and when I drop my son off at school I have lipstick on, but its from the night before because I work until 3am!
You rock!!!!!!!!
Summer from Vegas

8/22/2005 10:21 AM  
Blogger The Serio's said...

K, my kids only in preschool, but still... apparently you aren't supposed to wear your pj's to drop them off. Love your blog, good reading!

8/23/2005 4:07 PM  
Blogger GroovyVic said...

And I guess one isn't supposed to wear their p.j.'s to put their kids on the bus either...!!!

8/23/2005 5:27 PM  
Anonymous susan said...

too funny! the gals in my Georgia 'hood wear all manner of pj's to the bus stop. Some continue right on to the grocery store in them. Gotta love 'em.

8/25/2005 5:19 AM  
Blogger Philip said...

Why can't you wear weird shoes? I'd think that funky shoes would be a conversation starter...

8/27/2005 5:30 PM  
Blogger Lori said...

DAMN I forgot to blow dry my hair AND do the lipstick before Back to School Night, which is on the 2nd day of school for whatever stupid reason in my town. But it was 100 out at 7:30, so they're lucky I showed up at all.

And I hate all those fucking perfect mommies.

9/01/2005 11:57 AM  
Anonymous anne said...

oh lord, I'm not the only one. Super glad to find your site!

"Today I am WT because . . ." I feed my children peanut butter and fluff sandwiches, and no one around here has ever heard of them.

9/02/2005 8:59 AM  
Blogger Kacee said...

PB & fluff is awesome! I forgot how good they were until i made 'em for my 2 boys awhile back.

9/05/2005 5:12 PM  
Blogger momazon said...

Ugh - today was the first day of school here... muffia moms out in full force asking people to sign up for stuff...
Again, I've tried to hard, wore stupid shoes and didn't wash/blow dry my hair - threw it up into a pony tail (throw up being the operative phrase) and I'm sure I have roots that could ground a Sequoia... at least I left the twins at home with a sitter ("oh my, you're still... breeding...")

Ultimate muffia attack alert... I'm actually back down to prepreg weight, and apparently that's too lucky. Pray for my Bubba - I'm sure he's a marked man(boy) now...

Love the blog... nice to know someone else is in touch with their... roots.

9/06/2005 10:16 AM  
Blogger momazon said...

oh for pete's sake - I wrote "to" and meant "too"...

I'm doomed.

9/06/2005 10:18 AM  
Anonymous Felicity said...

Why do I always feel like Barbara Eden on Harper Valley PTA when I walk in to school? My kids school is currently being run by a
posse of fat assed, 1-ton dually driving, bad perm wearing "hockey moms"

One of whom actually grabbed me by the arm and yanked me back onto the sidewalk when she didn't feel it was my "turn" to cross the carpool lane.
Well, she was waiting in the nurses office yesterday. Boy did her face light up when I walked in (late for work and desperately needing a latte) I was there to deliver the requisite paperwork from the pediatrician to administer my kids afternoon ritalin (yeah, shut up) The nurse just stood there while bitchface snatched the release froms out of my hand and began reading them intently. WTF??!!!

9/09/2005 2:57 PM  
Anonymous Laurie said...

My nightmare is that I’m pulled over, or get into a fender bender on the way to school, have to get out of my car and stand by the side of the road in my ratty PJ’s, for all the Muffies to see as they drive their kids to school.

Still, I have yet to drive my kids to school in anything but my PJ’s.

The good news is that when I’m driving my kids to school I’m the safest driver on the planet.

My WTM Intro:

Yesterday my son came home from school with head lice.

I’m wearing the same flip flops that I’ve been wearing every day since 2001.

This Christmas, I’ll be adorning my lawn with a flock pink flamingo “reindeer” for the pleasure of my neighbors. The next day, I’ll be leaving for a 2-week visit to NY. There’s no doubt I’ll be fined by our neighborhood “Association”. A small price to pay.


9/10/2005 12:58 PM  

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