Weighty Issues

Dear WTMs, Fat is on my mind today. Two reasons. First, I got an email today from Gary. Gary sent an email to the white trash palace email address with the following comment: Ladies What would we do without the men haters. keep the entertainment coming though. I understand why most of you are alone, over weight, and democrats. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! ALONE? OVER WEIGHT? DEMOCRATS? Clearly Mr. Gary has some"issues". But here is the kicker---"Gary" even gave me HIS email and his last name! Gary does not deserve it but I am not going to give out his email information because it's my daughter's First Communion week and I am TRYING to be a good mother. But just had to share the comment as it was the "cherry on the cake of my day". Second reason I have weight issues on my mind is because of playground duty last week. I was doing playground duty, yelling at some third grade boys when I hear my name being called. My muffia alert radar kicks in...I brace myself for "incoming"...when I turn around I breathe a SIGH of relief. It's not one of the evil muffia, it is one of my daughter's old teachers. One of my favorites. She is a very nice lady which is why the following conversation was even weirder: ME: Oh, it's you...HI MRS. NICE TEACHER! How's it going? TEACHER: I hardly recognized you! I saw you on duty and I had to come over here because I did not think it was really YOU! My GOSH----you have lost SO MUCH WEIGHT. ME: Well, thank you, MRS. NICE TEACHER. I went on a health kick a few months ago but... TEACHER: I mean, I said to OTHER NICE TEACHER that you look like HALF the SIZE you used to be. ME: (Starting to move away, looking for a means of escape) Well, that is awfully nice of you and it's so good to see you again...SORRY NICE TEACHER I HAVE TO GO----Tommy O'Neil has Jack Fromm pinned under the chain link fence...see you soon! As I leave NICE TEACHER, she is still talking about what a fat beast I used to be and how I've lost weight. Ladies, I am not complaining about this because I would rather have this kind of commentary than the kind where the people ask me WHEN THE BABY IS DUE. Yes, at one point I DID have a woman at the OBGYN ask me when I was due. When I was not even pregnant. OUCH. So the above commentary is BETTER! And everyone likes getting told they have lost weight. But it was just that it came from a very nice woman and her enthusiasm about my weight loss that was unsettling. It's like I think to myself: I GUESS I REALLY LOOKED LIKE HELL AFTER ALL. Not going to say anymore because it sounds like I am bitching when I am not. It was just one of those KODAK moments as a White Trash Mom. Bueller? Anyone?