Best One Liners from "Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby"

Sure it is back to school week and there is alot going on. But a great way to waste time today is to bring all you WTMs some laughs with the best ONE LINERS from "Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby"! I have below some of the best one liners. I got the list over at my favorite movie site, PAJIBA.com. Here is the link to the excellent review by Dustin at Pajiba and after the review there are some great comments. I got the one-liners from the comments and have fun! http://www.pajiba.com/talladega-nights-the-ballad-of-ricky-bobby.htm Best One Liners from "Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby" "Help me, Jesus! Help me, Tom Cruise! Tom Cruise, use your witchcraft to get the fire off me!" "I can't control my heart rate, I've got a cougar on me!" "Dear Lord Baby Jesus, I want to thank you for this wonderful meal, my two beautiful son's, Walker and Texas Ranger, and my Red-Hot Smokin' Wife, Carley." "Chip, I'm gonna come at you like a spider monkey!" "I hope you both have sons! And they have no legs! Then you can feel my pain, and my hurt!" "DON'T YOU PUT THAT EVIL ON ME RICKY BOBBY" "I'm gonna scissorkick you in the back of the head!" "SHAKE AND BAKE!" "If you ain't first, you're last." "I wanna go fast." "Drive it like you stole it." "If you don't chew Big Red, then f**k you!" "If we wanted wussy kids, we would have named them 'Dr. Quinn' and 'Medicine Woman.'" "Hakuna Matata, Bitches". "Nope, from now on it's, Magic man...and El Diablo." "This sticker is inconvenient and dangerous, but I do like Fig Newtons." "I sent my application in to The Real World, and I'm pretty much putting all of my eggs in to that basket, the MTV basket." "If my MTV career doesn't work out, I was thinking I'd start selling crack. I would be like a laid back crack dealer, though. Nothing too formal. I'd just be like 'Hey boys, how's it going? Want some crack?'"