Starving My Children
Dear WTMs,
Apparently, I am systematically starving my children. According to my 12 year old daughter:
Other moms fix LUNCH for their kids. You NEVER fix us lunch. We have to fix ourselves pb&j sandwiches for lunch every day.
I wish I could do my almost teen daughter's voice for you on the blog because it is quite pitiful. Reason #468 why my kids will need therapy later on...I make them fix their own lunch in the summer.
I really have no strong moral principal about the kids fixing their own lunch. I am just lazy and I think that if I have sandwich stuff, fruit and some carrots they can pretty much fix themselves lunch during the summer vacation.
However, this week in our household was kind of bad one in terms of lunch materials for the poor starving children. The girls and I just returned from a weekend trip, so I didn't go to the store over the weekend. I am not really eating much this week, as my 25th high school reunion is this weekend and I am trying to lose 10 pounds before the weekend. Very realistic.
So with no store run and me not eating, the kids REALLY DID NOT have much to choose from for lunch materials. Yesterday they ate crackers and pretzels with peanut butter because there is no bread, no cheese, no meat in the house. There is no more fruit as of this AM because my nephew was here last night and he loves grapes. There is oatmeal...but no milk. There is some THAI soup mix. It is, even by my WT standards, pretty sad.
I will probably have to make a light store run today just so one of the neighbors doesn't hotline me to social services. WTMs, do you starve your offspring in the summer? Or am I, like my daughter claims, the ONLY mother on the planet that makes her kids fix their own lunch?
posted by queen of wt at 7/27/2006 04:49:00 AM
33 Comments:
I just let my kid graze during the day and we eat a big meal with dad at dinnertime. I do not cook for her on a regular basis during the day, not just during the summer break but all year round. By the time I was 12 I could cook a full meal by myself for the family and it was one of my chores 3 times a week.
You should probably stock the cupboards though. Just in case. Besides, you're going to want to grub out after the reunion when no one is watching, right?
I see your PB&J and raise you...
My daughter actually asked me to stop making her lunch and let her buy the cafeteria food. Yeah, that hurt.
lunchables. I am a baddddddddddd mom. or peanut butter and crackers. on the days we don't have McDonalds, that is!
I make mine get their own breakfast - I keep cereal bars, cut and washed fruit, and frozen waffles on hand. They can even pour their own milk, but you'd think that was the hardest thing on the planet looking at their faces.
My 10 year old boy has even "cooked" a dessert for our summer memorial day party. It was a hit! A chocolate covered cookie pizza thing that was heavenly -no leftovers, not even a crumb.
But still, they look at me in disgust when I remind them that they can do some things for themselves...
I have to go with Natalie on this one--I'm nearly 20, and I was expected to fend for myself for lunch (and frequently dinner too) as soon as I got old enough to cook my own pasta.
Do not fret. In some Asian countries children are required to travel to/from school unattended to instill a sense of empowerment and create SELF-sufficient individuals.
Trust me, they are not going to starve and you are not creating mental scars either.
PS: I was making my family's breakfast AND dinner by the age of 12 and I turned out okay (except for the serial killer thing, that is).
PB&J is a food group in this household. Breakfast, lunch and dinner some days.
My kids and I shop on Sundays, and we buy TONS of lunch things. Then we cut up veggies together so they're handy. Then, throughout the week, they make their own lunches. All summer. We've been doing this since the boys were 7 and 10 and I got fed up. The older boy will now make his own lunches through the whole school year and will even BAKE on his own (you have no clue how popular a 17 year old boy is who is athletic AND will bake with his girlfriends - I swear there is a different teenaged girl hanging off him every night of the week.
Hey, I was making full family meals - like spagetti sauce from scratch and vermicelli when I was 6, on my own. Not the I was precocious. My mother was just sort of nuts and thought it would be nice to have a child who could cook for her. I learned because I had to.
Now, 34 years later, I'm a damn fine cook, but don't do it in the middle of the summer for my son. My son, he can do ramen, tofu dogs, pasta, salads, PBJs and crackers with cheese etc. At almost 17, I think he can handle the world fairly well.
But in terms of lunch? In the summer? Nope. He's on his own. Has been for years (at leat 10). Two reasons, (1) I wanted to let him learn to cook when I was around and knew where the fire extinguisher was, and (2) he needs to know how to feed himself.
Proud to say he's NOT making marinara, but that if he chose to, I'd be all for it. And he would know how to figure it out.
Other mother's don't make lunch for their kids everyday in the summer. And if they do... they need to find a hobby.
Just found this blog and am loving it. My kids are 10, 9, 6, and 17 months. Obviously the little one doesn't fend for himself, but the others LIKE to do things on their own. The oldest two beg to make ramen and experiment with different veggies with it. But yeah... get to the store so you can eat after the reunion.
I make them lunch - but they are 6 & 8.
Fix lunch? That is what left overs and a microwave are for.
My child lives off of corn dogs. And that's only because I have to fix him food. He's 4. As soon as that child is older, he'll probably be eating alot of cereal for lunch, as he WILL have to make his own stuff soon. I figure he'll probably be a bachelor on his own someday. Might as well start the "fending for oneself" soon.
Your kids are lucky. My kids had to make their lunch during the school year. There was no hot lunch program when they were in elementary school. So every week night the poor darlings had to pack their lunch with a juice drink, fruit, a sandwich and very occasionaly some potato chips.
Talk about therapy!
Actually I do think it is very good for them to fend for themselves by fixing their own lunch----but the primary motivation is just that I don't want to. My "evil" master plan HAS worked in that my older daughter cooks up great stuff on the grill, can stir fry veggies and my younger daughter loves to bake. Through my "WT" attitude, I have spawned two great cooks (they like to cook). I LOVE all the comments and BTW I did go to the store for a small supply run (so when I am hung way over after the reunion I don't have to shop).
Mine like to make their own, and I try to let them...at least the 10 yr. old. The 4 yr. old likes to graze until dinner when he eats EVERYTHING in sight. I was feeling motivated today, and made a picnic lunch to take to the park after my oldest got done with baseball camp, and when we got there to pick him up? The four year old says, "Mom, WHY do we always have to have picnics?" Well, heck...excuse me for wanting to do something fun and different for a change! Always have picnics? MMMMmmmmkay. And who is your mom again?
In some countries four-year-olds are in charge of taking care of infants all day while their parents work in the fields. I like to tell my kids that when they whine about how hard their lives are. Like when we run out of hot dog buns and my kids have to have their weiners either plain or (horrors) wrapped in a slice of bread. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. My 9-year-old son can now scramble a mean egg, make a killer fruit salad and toast up bread like no one's business. All because mom got tired of playing restaurant.
I have a 7 year old daughter and this is her first do it your damn self summer. Heres the pbutter. There is juice in the fridge you know where everything else is have fun. She loves it. It make her feel all grown up. Also she will actually eat it instead of turning up her cute little nose and ask me if I really excpect her to eat this. And well I dont feel like strangleing that little neck every afternoon.
My daughter sleeps in most days and makes her own breakfast when she gets up. Or not. She isn't ready for "lunch" until after 2:00 but I want her to sit down to a real dinner with Dad and I so I try to keep her to more of a snack then. Thank goodness for ramen noodles.
I grew up seriously white trash. I dont remember my mom or any other relative that we occasionally lived with, making too much effort to make us lunches in the summers. We ate a lot of slim jims, sour cream and onion pringles and ring dings washed down with some nice Hi-C. Do they even make that stuff anymore?
My extremely WT childhood:
My mom made NO meals during the summer. It was cereal or pop tarts for breakfast, boloney and cole slaw sandwiches (yum!) with chips for lunch, and tv dinners for dinner.
All of that we had to make ourselves.
But now that I think about it, it was pretty much that way all year round...
Ahh this conversation sounds so familiar. It also reminded me that my kids will be home from their vacation tomorrow and I need to go do some grocery shopping!! Or they will starve too.
My oldest is 5 1/2, she eats pb&j every single day and loves it. I WISH she would eat something else. Anywhooo, she loves to help me cook, and makes her own lunch some days. She loves to watch the food network, so I am hoping she will be inspired to be a wonderful cook. Because I'm not. *snort*
When I was a teenager, I shopped and made my own meals. My mom has many talents, but could burn water.
You could have your 12 yr old read the story in the paper about the two little girls in Wichita who were being starved by their (truly evil) stepmother.
http://www.kansas.com/mld/kansas/15138223.htm
I gave my 6-year-old a pop-tart. Does that count?
I do not think that is wrong making you children make their own lunch. It gives them responsibility and later on in life they will not have to rely on you for that.
Let me see if I understand:
You ask that your children make their own lunch? My daughter would be in heaven. I have her cook my lunch, too, while she's at it.
When she was 12, we watched Mommy Dearest together, just so she'd know how to write a proper tell-all book-turned-into-a-movie. The only catch was that she had to promise to share the profits with me, her inspiration.
"No more wire hangers, ever!" is often heard in this house.
Fixed my own lunch and fixed lunch for my little brother, AND after the age of 12, had to PLAN and COOK dinner once a week for the family of 4.
pb&j and grazing is how food is done here. Oh, and lots and lots of cereal. I hate to cook. I do help my 6 year old spread the peanut butter, but that's because if I don't, then it will end up on every surface of the kitchen.
salami and crackers for my kids for lunch, almost everyday. nothing but the finest cuisine for the kiddos.
My mom's a teacher, so she was home all summer with me. When she got hungry, she'd wander into the kitchen for something, and often fixed me something as well. Sometimes I helped, sometimes I didn't (I'm an only child, btw, and probably a little spoiled, but I'm also not much trouble, I don't think!). But if she was getting her hair cut, or chatting across the street, or knee-deep in the garden, then I fended for myself. And these days, I'm just as likely to ask her if she wants something as the other way around. I heard there's a theory that you should be generous and helpful with your children, because you're modeling generous, helpful behavior and eventually they'll pick it up. But no, it totally wouldn't kill a kid to pour a glass juice and slap a sandwich together when s/he felt like it! As long as you keep ingredients handy...
I don't have a leg to stand on, though. I'm only 25! But I'm pretty sure I was raised excellently, so I'm really just transmitting my mother's tips!
I do it all for my child. I wanted to be a SAHM, and I feel I should step up to the plate.
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