Thursday, July 27, 2006

Starving My Children

Dear WTMs, Apparently, I am systematically starving my children. According to my 12 year old daughter: Other moms fix LUNCH for their kids. You NEVER fix us lunch. We have to fix ourselves pb&j sandwiches for lunch every day. I wish I could do my almost teen daughter's voice for you on the blog because it is quite pitiful. Reason #468 why my kids will need therapy later on...I make them fix their own lunch in the summer. I really have no strong moral principal about the kids fixing their own lunch. I am just lazy and I think that if I have sandwich stuff, fruit and some carrots they can pretty much fix themselves lunch during the summer vacation. However, this week in our household was kind of bad one in terms of lunch materials for the poor starving children. The girls and I just returned from a weekend trip, so I didn't go to the store over the weekend. I am not really eating much this week, as my 25th high school reunion is this weekend and I am trying to lose 10 pounds before the weekend. Very realistic. So with no store run and me not eating, the kids REALLY DID NOT have much to choose from for lunch materials. Yesterday they ate crackers and pretzels with peanut butter because there is no bread, no cheese, no meat in the house. There is no more fruit as of this AM because my nephew was here last night and he loves grapes. There is oatmeal...but no milk. There is some THAI soup mix. It is, even by my WT standards, pretty sad. I will probably have to make a light store run today just so one of the neighbors doesn't hotline me to social services. WTMs, do you starve your offspring in the summer? Or am I, like my daughter claims, the ONLY mother on the planet that makes her kids fix their own lunch?


Blogger dariasmama said...

I just let my kid graze during the day and we eat a big meal with dad at dinnertime. I do not cook for her on a regular basis during the day, not just during the summer break but all year round. By the time I was 12 I could cook a full meal by myself for the family and it was one of my chores 3 times a week.

You should probably stock the cupboards though. Just in case. Besides, you're going to want to grub out after the reunion when no one is watching, right?

7/27/2006 5:31 AM  
Blogger Candi said...

I see your PB&J and raise you...

My daughter actually asked me to stop making her lunch and let her buy the cafeteria food. Yeah, that hurt.

7/27/2006 5:57 AM  
Blogger cmhl said...

lunchables. I am a baddddddddddd mom. or peanut butter and crackers. on the days we don't have McDonalds, that is!

7/27/2006 6:26 AM  
Anonymous saintseester said...

I make mine get their own breakfast - I keep cereal bars, cut and washed fruit, and frozen waffles on hand. They can even pour their own milk, but you'd think that was the hardest thing on the planet looking at their faces.

My 10 year old boy has even "cooked" a dessert for our summer memorial day party. It was a hit! A chocolate covered cookie pizza thing that was heavenly -no leftovers, not even a crumb.

But still, they look at me in disgust when I remind them that they can do some things for themselves...

7/27/2006 7:02 AM  
Blogger Natalie Mayslich said...

Keep in mind this is coming from a teen girl (who is sadly, leaving the teen tribe this year) whos mom never made her lunch. Alright maybe not never, but definitely not after i hit the double digit mark.
Not due to negligence ofcourse, more like her philosophy on raising children. Anyway, I'm kind of glad she didn't. I look around, and find myself to be one of the more responsible and mature in my group of friends.
Do I think it's due to making my own sandwiches? That would be silly. But it definitely has alot to do with the way I was raised.
Oh and, another plus. Your kids will get sick of PB&J pretty soon. What comes next? They make their own home cooked food!

7/27/2006 7:44 AM  
Anonymous Emma M. said...

I have to go with Natalie on this one--I'm nearly 20, and I was expected to fend for myself for lunch (and frequently dinner too) as soon as I got old enough to cook my own pasta.

7/27/2006 9:20 AM  
Blogger BlondeMom said...

My oldest daughter is only 4 so she can't quite fix her own lunch. However, she'd eat Hello Kitty PopTarts for every meal if I let her.

7/27/2006 11:43 AM  
Blogger Hannah said...

Do not fret. In some Asian countries children are required to travel to/from school unattended to instill a sense of empowerment and create SELF-sufficient individuals.

Trust me, they are not going to starve and you are not creating mental scars either.

PS: I was making my family's breakfast AND dinner by the age of 12 and I turned out okay (except for the serial killer thing, that is).

7/27/2006 11:45 AM  
Anonymous mamatulip said...

PB&J is a food group in this household. Breakfast, lunch and dinner some days.

7/27/2006 11:51 AM  
Anonymous Pamela said...

My kids and I shop on Sundays, and we buy TONS of lunch things. Then we cut up veggies together so they're handy. Then, throughout the week, they make their own lunches. All summer. We've been doing this since the boys were 7 and 10 and I got fed up. The older boy will now make his own lunches through the whole school year and will even BAKE on his own (you have no clue how popular a 17 year old boy is who is athletic AND will bake with his girlfriends - I swear there is a different teenaged girl hanging off him every night of the week.

7/27/2006 12:29 PM  
Blogger Mary said...

Hey, I was making full family meals - like spagetti sauce from scratch and vermicelli when I was 6, on my own. Not the I was precocious. My mother was just sort of nuts and thought it would be nice to have a child who could cook for her. I learned because I had to.

Now, 34 years later, I'm a damn fine cook, but don't do it in the middle of the summer for my son. My son, he can do ramen, tofu dogs, pasta, salads, PBJs and crackers with cheese etc. At almost 17, I think he can handle the world fairly well.

But in terms of lunch? In the summer? Nope. He's on his own. Has been for years (at leat 10). Two reasons, (1) I wanted to let him learn to cook when I was around and knew where the fire extinguisher was, and (2) he needs to know how to feed himself.

Proud to say he's NOT making marinara, but that if he chose to, I'd be all for it. And he would know how to figure it out.

Other mother's don't make lunch for their kids everyday in the summer. And if they do... they need to find a hobby.

7/27/2006 12:45 PM  
Anonymous janet said...

Just found this blog and am loving it. My kids are 10, 9, 6, and 17 months. Obviously the little one doesn't fend for himself, but the others LIKE to do things on their own. The oldest two beg to make ramen and experiment with different veggies with it. But yeah... get to the store so you can eat after the reunion.

7/27/2006 12:46 PM  
Blogger Sharpie said...

I make them lunch - but they are 6 & 8.

7/27/2006 1:24 PM  
Blogger Crazy Lady said...

Fix lunch? That is what left overs and a microwave are for.

7/27/2006 1:58 PM  
Blogger Lisa said...

My child lives off of corn dogs. And that's only because I have to fix him food. He's 4. As soon as that child is older, he'll probably be eating alot of cereal for lunch, as he WILL have to make his own stuff soon. I figure he'll probably be a bachelor on his own someday. Might as well start the "fending for oneself" soon.

7/27/2006 3:11 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your kids are lucky. My kids had to make their lunch during the school year. There was no hot lunch program when they were in elementary school. So every week night the poor darlings had to pack their lunch with a juice drink, fruit, a sandwich and very occasionaly some potato chips.

Talk about therapy!

7/27/2006 3:18 PM  
Blogger queen of wt said...

Actually I do think it is very good for them to fend for themselves by fixing their own lunch----but the primary motivation is just that I don't want to. My "evil" master plan HAS worked in that my older daughter cooks up great stuff on the grill, can stir fry veggies and my younger daughter loves to bake. Through my "WT" attitude, I have spawned two great cooks (they like to cook). I LOVE all the comments and BTW I did go to the store for a small supply run (so when I am hung way over after the reunion I don't have to shop).

7/27/2006 4:43 PM  
Blogger mama kay said...

My oldest two (10/13) fend for themselves. The 4 yr old is learning to pick out what she likes and the 2 yr old is a grazer for sure.
I try to make sure that there are choices available .. but they know to figure it out. They also make their own lunches during the school year - then there are no complaints about what's in the bag ..
My mom NEVER, from 1st grade on
1) woke me up in the morning
2) made my lunch (regardless of the time of year)
3) walked me to school - which I do everyday ..
Am I glad or is this why my kids make their own? Maybe.
I don't take it to my mom's extreme .. but I do want my girls to learn how to take care of themselves.
Only one of the mom's in my neighborhood actually makes lunch for her kids and it is because she is anal about her kitchen and would have a nervous breakdown if they messed up her kitchen.
Oppss no more ranting .. sorry!

7/27/2006 8:45 PM  
Anonymous baseballmom said...

Mine like to make their own, and I try to let least the 10 yr. old. The 4 yr. old likes to graze until dinner when he eats EVERYTHING in sight. I was feeling motivated today, and made a picnic lunch to take to the park after my oldest got done with baseball camp, and when we got there to pick him up? The four year old says, "Mom, WHY do we always have to have picnics?" Well, heck...excuse me for wanting to do something fun and different for a change! Always have picnics? MMMMmmmmkay. And who is your mom again?

7/27/2006 11:55 PM  
Anonymous j-yo said...

In some countries four-year-olds are in charge of taking care of infants all day while their parents work in the fields. I like to tell my kids that when they whine about how hard their lives are. Like when we run out of hot dog buns and my kids have to have their weiners either plain or (horrors) wrapped in a slice of bread. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. My 9-year-old son can now scramble a mean egg, make a killer fruit salad and toast up bread like no one's business. All because mom got tired of playing restaurant.

7/28/2006 12:55 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have a 7 year old daughter and this is her first do it your damn self summer. Heres the pbutter. There is juice in the fridge you know where everything else is have fun. She loves it. It make her feel all grown up. Also she will actually eat it instead of turning up her cute little nose and ask me if I really excpect her to eat this. And well I dont feel like strangleing that little neck every afternoon.

7/28/2006 6:06 AM  
Anonymous Stacy said...

My daughter sleeps in most days and makes her own breakfast when she gets up. Or not. She isn't ready for "lunch" until after 2:00 but I want her to sit down to a real dinner with Dad and I so I try to keep her to more of a snack then. Thank goodness for ramen noodles.

7/28/2006 6:21 AM  
Blogger Wide Lawns Subservient Worker said...

I grew up seriously white trash. I dont remember my mom or any other relative that we occasionally lived with, making too much effort to make us lunches in the summers. We ate a lot of slim jims, sour cream and onion pringles and ring dings washed down with some nice Hi-C. Do they even make that stuff anymore?

7/28/2006 6:50 AM  
Blogger Shadiva said...

My extremely WT childhood:

My mom made NO meals during the summer. It was cereal or pop tarts for breakfast, boloney and cole slaw sandwiches (yum!) with chips for lunch, and tv dinners for dinner.

All of that we had to make ourselves.

But now that I think about it, it was pretty much that way all year round...

7/28/2006 8:58 AM  
Blogger NeverEnough said...

Ahh this conversation sounds so familiar. It also reminded me that my kids will be home from their vacation tomorrow and I need to go do some grocery shopping!! Or they will starve too.

7/28/2006 9:14 AM  
Blogger Mert said...

My oldest is 5 1/2, she eats pb&j every single day and loves it. I WISH she would eat something else. Anywhooo, she loves to help me cook, and makes her own lunch some days. She loves to watch the food network, so I am hoping she will be inspired to be a wonderful cook. Because I'm not. *snort*

7/28/2006 1:29 PM  
Blogger Lisa Hunter said...

When I was a teenager, I shopped and made my own meals. My mom has many talents, but could burn water.

7/28/2006 8:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You could have your 12 yr old read the story in the paper about the two little girls in Wichita who were being starved by their (truly evil) stepmother.

7/29/2006 12:17 PM  
Blogger Smithee said...

I gave my 6-year-old a pop-tart. Does that count?

7/29/2006 12:18 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I do not think that is wrong making you children make their own lunch. It gives them responsibility and later on in life they will not have to rely on you for that.

7/29/2006 3:22 PM  
Blogger debby said...

Let me see if I understand:

You ask that your children make their own lunch? My daughter would be in heaven. I have her cook my lunch, too, while she's at it.

When she was 12, we watched Mommy Dearest together, just so she'd know how to write a proper tell-all book-turned-into-a-movie. The only catch was that she had to promise to share the profits with me, her inspiration.

"No more wire hangers, ever!" is often heard in this house.

7/29/2006 8:44 PM  
Anonymous the_moira said...

Fixed my own lunch and fixed lunch for my little brother, AND after the age of 12, had to PLAN and COOK dinner once a week for the family of 4.

7/29/2006 10:01 PM  
Blogger Wendy said...

pb&j and grazing is how food is done here. Oh, and lots and lots of cereal. I hate to cook. I do help my 6 year old spread the peanut butter, but that's because if I don't, then it will end up on every surface of the kitchen.

7/30/2006 11:53 AM  
Anonymous gorillabuns said...

salami and crackers for my kids for lunch, almost everyday. nothing but the finest cuisine for the kiddos.

8/01/2006 7:49 PM  
Blogger Ev said...

My mom's a teacher, so she was home all summer with me. When she got hungry, she'd wander into the kitchen for something, and often fixed me something as well. Sometimes I helped, sometimes I didn't (I'm an only child, btw, and probably a little spoiled, but I'm also not much trouble, I don't think!). But if she was getting her hair cut, or chatting across the street, or knee-deep in the garden, then I fended for myself. And these days, I'm just as likely to ask her if she wants something as the other way around. I heard there's a theory that you should be generous and helpful with your children, because you're modeling generous, helpful behavior and eventually they'll pick it up. But no, it totally wouldn't kill a kid to pour a glass juice and slap a sandwich together when s/he felt like it! As long as you keep ingredients handy...
I don't have a leg to stand on, though. I'm only 25! But I'm pretty sure I was raised excellently, so I'm really just transmitting my mother's tips!

8/03/2006 5:15 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I do it all for my child. I wanted to be a SAHM, and I feel I should step up to the plate.

8/04/2006 5:05 PM  

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