Differences Between You and the Muffia

Dear WTMs, As a part of the on-going, pre-Summer education series, I will continue with the lessons on:

HOW TO SPOT THE MUFFIA during SUMMER VACATION

I think that sometimes the best way to describe that the MUFFIA is, is by showing the differences between "WT" moms (which we all consider normal) and the MUFFIA moms. Situation #1 You are at the pool. Your oldest child is trying to drown his/her younger sibling. WTM Method of Stopping Your Child You quickly turn your head, get up and scream at the top of your lungs at your child, who is at the far end of the pool.

• Suzanne (Insert Middle Name Here) Jones!
• I swear to God if you touch your sister one more time you will wish you were never born! Don't make me come in there!

MUFFIA Method of Stopping Child You do nothing. You continue to talk to another mom at the pool or read a magazine. You ignore any wrong doing of your child, choosing to ignore the younger siblings cries for help, until another parent or a lifeguard steps in. Or else 911 is called. Situation #2 Your family is at the FUN Summer Block Party. One of your children is either 1)taste testing all the desserts with their nasty, dirty fingers OR 2)is trying to "help" with the BBQ by lighting napkins on fire on the host's front porch WTM Method of Stopping Your Child You scream at your child or children, walking very fast to get to them so you can give them one of the famous smiling but "gritted teeth" little up and close and personal talks.

• SCREAMING FROM ACROSS THE BLOCK PARTY---LOUD ENOUGH TO WAKE THE DEAD: JESUS, MARY AND JOSEPH!
• AFTER DOING THE WALK/RUN OVER TO THE KIDS AND GRABBING THEM BY THE ARM. USING LOW VOICE AND GRITTED TEETH:
• Suzanne (Insert Middle Name Here) Jones-----you KNOW better! What in the HELL are you thinking? Can you tell me that? You are SO dead, do you realize that young lady?

MUFFIA Method of Stopping Child You do nothing. You continue to flirt with Mr. Rankin, the cute single guy with the BMW that lives down the street. He could be "second husband" material, after all! You ignore any wrong doing of your child, letting your kid almost burn down the neighbors house. Is this a clear picture, WTMs? I would love to read your feedback!