White Trash Day of Mouring-The Day the King Died

Dear WTMs, I know I don't have to tell you WT fans what today. For those of you that new to the world of WT, today is a day of mouring. Today is the anniversary of the day that THE KING died. August 16th was the day that Elvis, the King of Rock and Roll, died at his home, Graceland. I think it was in 1977 or 1978. Please forgive me for not knowing. I always remember this day because it is also my brother's birthday AND my cousin's birthday. So how does ELVIS affect me, WTM? Because of all the contributions to the culture of WT, of course! Elvis was and is the King of Rock and Roll. I am not kidding about his real and true contributions to music and to pop culture. But if you are a fan of "WT" culture, The King had an even greater impact. Here is a very short list of some of the ways the King impacts our lives, even years after his death: 1. He squeezed himself into the white jumpsuits, despite extra poundage. If you go to any themepark in America, you will see thousands of people squeezing their behinds into spandex shorts that are two sizes too small. 2. He lived in a ranch home that had very bad decorating. Take a look at the McMansions everywhere in America for evidence of the King's impact. 3. He shot out his TV. Except for having to replace it, don't we ALL want to shoot our TV? 4. He started a new industry---think of all the Elvis impersonators that would be out of work had Elvis not lived and died? It would be tragic. 5. Big hair. The hair of the King during the white jumpsuit days was big and had lots of product. I think that says it all. 6. Excess is best. The King super-sized everthing...he at lots of sandwiches, drank lots of booze and took lots of drugs. Modern America is ALL about excess. Too much is not enough. My Catholic guilt is setting in. I really am sad for Elvis and his family at the way he died and the last years of his life. That part I am not kidding about. But you really cannot argue at the impact on our culture (or non-culture, if you read what the rest of the world thinks about America). So, WTMs, think about Elvis today. Make yourself and pb and bananna sandwich, squeeze yourself into some shorts that are too small, crack open a beer or a pop and toast the King. If you click on the title to this entry, you will be taken to a news story about Elvis. Countdown is THREE MORE DAYS until school. If it doesn't start soon, I WILL BE SHOOTING OUT MY TV!