WT Movement...One Mom and One City at a Time

WTMs, The title to this entry is a link to an interview I gave on WBAL, a radio station in Baltimore. Regarding "Trailer Park Chic". I am not so much giving you guys this link because I want to promote ME but just wanted to show you just how far ahead of the pack that we "WT" Moms really are. I am telling you guys----we are a movement that is gaining traction. Unite WT Moms! Of course, only AFTER the reality TV series is over and your dessert is done. We still have our own style you know. WTM Over and out

Calling Social Services Today-It's SPRING!

Dear WTMs, The Christmas lights were finally taken down. Not by me nor my husband. But by a long-time friend of our family who just could not stand it anymore. I am sure that this is huge relief to my neighbors. But now, just when they thought the "WT" family was going straight...it's Spring. While it is TECHNICALLY Spring here at the trailer park, it is still quite chilly for a swim or for playing in a waterpark. But despite the cold, the girls offered to "wash" my car so naturally I let them and the car washing has turned our front yard into a water park. As I write this, my 8 year old is SCREAMING (and I mean LOUDLY as if I were "spanking" her with a lead pipe or something along those lines). It is a sound of pure JOY as her sister squirts her with the ICE COLD hose water. But if you did not know any better, you might think it was time to call social services and hotline our family. Our neighborhood is a mix of generations. It is 50% original residents (homes built in early 1960's) and just about 50% families. There are still a fair amount of the "originals" close enough, so that it is painful to them when Spring rolls around. This weekend the FRONT yard has in full view the following: Huge cooler (white) used as a "hottub" during the "carwashing" session Three tennis rackets One broken bike Soccer net thing but now has no net Two hoses 37 beach towels "Nail Salon" supplies (my 8 year old girl forces some of the neighbor boys into painting their nails, quite disturbing for them) All we are missing is a few cement blocks that we can raise our "EL CAMINO" on to complete the picture. Happy Spring WTMs!

My second grader's Holy Guide to Catholicism

Dear WTMs, One of my best friends and the Godmother of one of my daughters, posted a response to the First Communion Dress blog entry. Keep in mind that this woman is my daughter's guide to the Catholic faith. Just wanted to make sure you guys get a picture of the good influences I have surrounded my children with. See below: I'm not sure if it's too late to respond to this blog but...being that I am the godmother of wt mom's 2nd grader, I feel it my catholic duty to let you all know there will be NO white tube top and white mini-skirt on that child. However, i will laugh till I'm blue if I see anyone else's child in said outfit! I'm over my catholic guilt...can you tell??? I love the woman but she is totally twisted. That is why I chose her to be a Godmother.

Recipe for DING DONG Wedding Cake from ReadyMade Magazine

Dear WTMs The current issue of READYMADE magazine has a Ding Dong cake in it. I totally loved this and wanted all of you to see it too! Perhaps for that "unique" touch you were looking for to enhance your third wedding reception? I totally love this magazine (although it is probably far too hip for me, a troll like suburban mom, to be reading). I do so love it. You can link to the online version of READYMADE magazine by clicking on the title of this blog entry. Please WTMs---this is NOT something to take to the kid's classroom parties! The muffia would eat your lunch for it. It is simply a fun thing to share with other WT friends and family members! ENJOY! More posts later but had to post this!

The Worst "Mom-ism" You've Ever Said

Dear WTMs, What is the worst "mom-ism" comment that you have said to your kids (outloud) that you can't believe that you said? What have you said to your kids that your mom probably said to you? You know, one of those comments that as a kid, you thought to yourself "I will never say that to MY children"...but then you did. Here's mine- Last year, during Lent, I was dragging the girls to Mass. As we were speeding toward the church (almost late, per usual) I was on the phone with one of my best friends. We grew up together and her mother used to drive the car and then scream at us to behave while she whacked us with her house slipper. It was a soft house slipper but I think you get the picture. Anyway, while speeding to Mass I was talking to my friend on the cell phone AND yelling at MY kids. Nice, huh? A picture perfect Catholic family. ANYWAY, so one of the girls says something like:

I DON'T WANT TO GO TO CHURCH, MAAAAAAM. I DON'T FEEL LIKE IT......

To which I reply:

DO YOU THINK THAT JESUS WANTED TO DIE ON THE CROSS? DO YOU THINK THAT HE FELT LIKE IT?

(please note-it was totally a reflex from that MOM gene, was not really me talking, I swear) In my yelling, I forgot my friend was on the phone but she was peeing in her pants, she was laughing so hard at my totally twisted MOM comment. She will NEVER let me live it down. Being such a long time friend, she has also told most of our other twisted friends so that they make fun of me as well. And I can also take comfort in the fact that comments like those will be brought up later, by my daughters with their future therapy appointments. So what is your most hideous "mom-ism"? I want funny stuff, ladies. Blog on sisters in the WT.

Spring Break Comebacks for the Muffia

Dear WTMs Sorry again for the break. Have been sick and so I was total WT and did not blog. I really did not want to do a blog about how lousy I felt so I opted for a break. Am a little better but wanted to blog today because SPRING BREAK is coming up. Spring Break is an excellent opportunity the MUFFIA to showcase their superiority by telling you all of the exotic and exciting vacations that they are taking (with their perfect children). I have been a little crabby since I have been sick so I have not been taking the muffia bragging very well and have not had my usual comebacks for them. Just like Christmas vacation, Spring Break is a chance for the MUFFIA to rub it in that they get to do something exciting and fun for vacation while you (one the mortals) has to be okay with driving somewhere for the weekend or GASP! not doing anything at all. WTMs I find it very enriching to attack the muffia HEAD ON when confronted by "Bitsy" and "Muffy" as to my Spring Break plans. I will give you an example of how to do this below. The situation is that Bitsy and Muffy have cornered you, while you are waiting to pick up your precious child after school. The muffia begin to brag about how much fun they are going to have, going on in great detail about their vacation (and they always talk about how they have ALWAYS gone to Cabo....you get the idea). Before they can even ASK you about your vacation, here is your comeback:

Bitsy, how fun that you are going to the Dominican Republic for the break! I am sure that the reports of all the American kidnappings is nothing to worry about---you are so brave. And Muffy---how neat that you are skiing at your family's condo. Lucky YOU. Well, my husband and I really try to use Spring break as a time to do family things and we ALWAYS use break as a time to do some volunteer work for _________________. Husband and I feel like we are so lucky----it just seems to be the right thing to do to...GIVE BACK. We feel like we should do that so that our kids know the value of what we give them. But I am sure that you all will have fun.

Then you walk away with a big smile on your face. Try this ladies OR SOMETHING LIKE IT----and their evil muffia hearts of tar will simply melt. They will so wish that they had thought of it (doing good) so that THEY could look better. Try it, it works I promise you.