One more sign WT Movement is Growing

Thanks to one of our fine WTMs for sending us this link to an article on MSNBC.com. About WT. It's not too flattering but it shows that all of us know WT was cool before it became cool! Click on title to the blog entry to get to the link or cut and paste below. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/12389715/

Muffia at the Coffee Shop-They Know We Are Out There

Dear WTMs, So this morning after dropping off kids, I head to the coffee shop to pay $3.75 for double shot mocha. I need the extra jolt today because it is the DAY BEFORE First Communion. That means I must actually deep clean the house. Note to self: wipe all the BOOGERS off the wall in hallway. Another note to self: take dog bed out of hallway bathtub. You get the picture. So I go to the coffee shop. I walk in the coffee shop wearing my Crocs, holey jeans, t-shirt that I slept in. It is 810am. As I walk in, out of the corner of my eye, I have a "muffia" sighting. A table of 6 women, dig if you will, the picture: All perfectly groomed, hair curled, full make-up. All wearing designer casual duds, perfect for that "important meeting at the coffee shop" look. There is one gal that looks a little out of place at the table, wearing unfashionable glasses, straight hair that has not be "enhanced" by hair color. I figure that she's the treasurer that they let hang around them and join the committee because she can add. Now, I don't KNOW these ladies. But I KNOW them, if you understand what I mean. The muffia are a universal organization, therefore even if they are from another school or city. As I am getting my coffee,I notice that several members of the "very important committee meeting" group are openly staring at me. Their WTM radar is obviously on. Knowing the evil ways of the muffia, they were fixing their laser stares at me thinking: "OMG, I can't believe that woman is wearing that. Thank God I am perfect!" or "Do I know her? Is she important enough for me to know? If she is important enough for me to know, should I greet her?" I get my coffee and bolt. That muffia committee is another WTM's headache. I've got my own to deal with. The point of this story is...ladies they KNOW we are out there. Yet one more sign that our movement is gaining strength.

Weighty Issues

Dear WTMs, Fat is on my mind today. Two reasons. First, I got an email today from Gary. Gary sent an email to the white trash palace email address with the following comment: Ladies What would we do without the men haters. keep the entertainment coming though. I understand why most of you are alone, over weight, and democrats. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! ALONE? OVER WEIGHT? DEMOCRATS? Clearly Mr. Gary has some"issues". But here is the kicker---"Gary" even gave me HIS email and his last name! Gary does not deserve it but I am not going to give out his email information because it's my daughter's First Communion week and I am TRYING to be a good mother. But just had to share the comment as it was the "cherry on the cake of my day". Second reason I have weight issues on my mind is because of playground duty last week. I was doing playground duty, yelling at some third grade boys when I hear my name being called. My muffia alert radar kicks in...I brace myself for "incoming"...when I turn around I breathe a SIGH of relief. It's not one of the evil muffia, it is one of my daughter's old teachers. One of my favorites. She is a very nice lady which is why the following conversation was even weirder: ME: Oh, it's you...HI MRS. NICE TEACHER! How's it going? TEACHER: I hardly recognized you! I saw you on duty and I had to come over here because I did not think it was really YOU! My GOSH----you have lost SO MUCH WEIGHT. ME: Well, thank you, MRS. NICE TEACHER. I went on a health kick a few months ago but... TEACHER: I mean, I said to OTHER NICE TEACHER that you look like HALF the SIZE you used to be. ME: (Starting to move away, looking for a means of escape) Well, that is awfully nice of you and it's so good to see you again...SORRY NICE TEACHER I HAVE TO GO----Tommy O'Neil has Jack Fromm pinned under the chain link fence...see you soon! As I leave NICE TEACHER, she is still talking about what a fat beast I used to be and how I've lost weight. Ladies, I am not complaining about this because I would rather have this kind of commentary than the kind where the people ask me WHEN THE BABY IS DUE. Yes, at one point I DID have a woman at the OBGYN ask me when I was due. When I was not even pregnant. OUCH. So the above commentary is BETTER! And everyone likes getting told they have lost weight. But it was just that it came from a very nice woman and her enthusiasm about my weight loss that was unsettling. It's like I think to myself: I GUESS I REALLY LOOKED LIKE HELL AFTER ALL. Not going to say anymore because it sounds like I am bitching when I am not. It was just one of those KODAK moments as a White Trash Mom. Bueller? Anyone?

Church Going with the MUFFIA

Dear WTMs, Took me a few days to recover from the Easter holiday this year. Had more family and church activities than usual and then we went to visit family. But I can't believe that EVERY YEAR during the Easter season....I totally FORGET how much the MUFFIA uses Church as yet another way to prove their superior mothering skills and as a way to showcase just HOW PERFECT their family is. It is like I block it out and yet during the week before Easter, it always comes back to get me. Let's discuss: So I am at a Good Friday service at Church. It is one of those LONG ASS services due to the fact it's Good Friday. I am there because one of my best friends is totally involved with Church stuff and she asked me to help out with some thing afterwards for the "blue hairs" of the parish. Besides, I have been really lame during Lent this year and the great Catholic guilt is a strong motivator. Besides guilt, going to stuff where you get to dish with the older "church ladies" is a total riot. Those gals are a total hoot and there is not one "muffy" to be found because doing stuff with the "blue hairs" is not nearly cool enough. Anyway----so I go to Good Friday service during the day but I don't take the kids with me because I totally DRAG THEM to this really long "Stations of the Cross" service at a downtown church every Good Friday at 3pm and I just think that service is ENOUGH church for a kid on Good Friday. There is a story here, so please read on. Sorry for detail but I had 3 cups of coffee today so I am even more ADDDDD than normal. So I am at the Long Ass Good Friday Service, sitting in the back due to the fact I was running late. I am minding my own business when one of the muffia spots me. I try to kind of act like I don't see her but then had to eventually make eye contact as it is a long ass church service. After the service, I try to dodge her but she is quicker than me and BOUNCES UP TO ME in her very cool $300 casual shabby chic outfit. I am in jeans and a normal t-shirt, crocs. I look okay, not too WT but quite frumpy. Muffia Member: HI! How are YOU? Are YOUR KIDS HERE? Me: No, I did not bring them to this service... Muffia Member: (interrupts me) OOOOOO TOO BAD! My kids NEVER MISS this WONDERFUL GOOD FRIDAY SERVICE! I mean, it's JUST NOT A TRUE EASTER HOLIDAY TO MY FAMILY without this Good Friday service? (Please note I only wish I could show you the facial expressions and let you HEAR her voice as she is pouring her heart out to me...it was quite a performance). Me: Um, yeah.... Muffia Member: (cuts me off AGAIN) So...is it just too hard for your kids to sit through one of these services? I know a LOT of kids have trouble. (Translation: So I guess your kid is not as good as my child due to the fact that your child did not attend this church service....it's okay because not all kids can be perfect like mine. It is due to ME being a perfect mother!) Me: (Finally having enough) WELL MUFFIA, I wanted to come to this service but I did not make the kids come because we always go to the "Stations of the Cross" at the Church in the "Bad" Part of Town on Good Friday. They are with the cousin right now and my family and I are going to that service in a few hours. So I did not make them come with me to this. Besides, I just wanted some time for some REFLECTION. (Translation: Muffy, we actually attend Church services in other parts of our city, even in parts of the city where everyone does not drive a new Lexus to Church. And sometimes I like to come to services alone because, unlike you, I have a soul, and I need time alone to reflect and worship GOD. Because, BTW, that is kind of why you are supposed to go to Mass. To worship). Muffia Member: Oh. How..Nice. Well, I'm OFF! As I watched her bounce away, I was pissed at myself for even explaining where my kids where. Church is NOT a spectator sport for normal people but I forgot about the MUFFIA. Everything is a spectator sport. I am sure all of you have muffia in your place of worship, whatever religion you are. But I get especially ticked off about the muffia when it comes to Mass stuff because that is one area that really should be "out of bounds". But it's not and the whole reason I have to talk nicely to the muffia is because my kids will pay for it if I don't. However, I must note for those of you who are as PETTY as me, the look on her face when I told her I was taking my family to a service in the "bad" part of town was satisfying. You could see her little brain calculating the social climbing value of attending that service. Hope she doesn't remember it for next year. Ladies, hope your Passover, Easter, Long Weekend was good. Hope you were able to have a MUFFIA free holiday. Anyone?

It's Been A Year Now...And I Haven't Forgotten

Hi WTMs, It has been a year since I pulled my oldest daughter out of school, due to the fact that she was the target of some major girl bullies. I can't believe the difference in my daughter this school year----she loves her new school and has lots of friendsand is doing great in her school work. She is, once again, the kid that we know and love. She's back to herself. But at this time last year, it was a different story. At this time last year, she was being picked on by some girls that would probably make grown women cringe...they are really that mean. Anyway, we pulled our daughter out of school in late April of last year because we had watched our bright and happy girl turn into a shell of her former self. We did not really even know, until after we pulled her and after she was away from the evil beasts just how bad it was. But now she is BACK and I respect her so much and am so proud of her! She continues to be in her Girl Scout troop at her old school (girls in the troop are mostly very nice, has some of her best friends in the troop). She is also an altar girl at church, sometimes serving with some of the people that were mean to her. I am so very proud of her for staying with the stuff she loved to do at her old school and not running away (even though it would have been easier to do this). She is just 12 but I will tell you she has more guts than I EVER did at 12. She told me on Sunday something very sweet. She really doesn't like to talk about her 5th grade year----it pretty much sucked. But Sunday, she told me that some of the girls that she did not know that well in the Scout troop were "growing on her". I told her that was cool of her to give people she did not know a second chance. The wise 12 year old then says: Yea, I guess I'm back, huh? I think I've bounced back pretty well, mom. Okay---it was sweet and it was bittersweet. I am so proud of her and I am glad she has moved on. However, as her mother (and a person that is not as good as she is) I still harbor resentment at some of the bully girls and their families. I am pissed that we had to take our daughter out of a school she had been attending since she was a toddler because some mean ass girls could not be (and would not be) stopped. I know it happens (bullies) but I have to tell you I never thought it would happen to us. And then, even when it was happening, I did not realize fully the damage done. Last year, in the height of the drama, I told my daughter that in 20 years, she'd be a marine biologist. And the girls that were making her life hell would be pumping her gas at the quik mart. My husband told me that was bad to say but I told him and my daughter that I would never take it back. I still don't take it back. And while I have moved on, I have not completely forgotten. I am not stalking 12 year old girls or anything, don't worry. And I know that these beasts will eventually "get" themselves but it doesn't hurt to cheer this on a bit does it? It's petty. It's immature. It's being a mother. Ladies?