Debby and her monkey can't eat at Crackerbarrel
In September, following complaints of diners, the health department in Springfield, Mo., notified restaurants that Debby Rose's "assistance monkey" could not be permitted to dine with her! The harsh health department officials said that Debby's "assistance monkey" could NOT sit next to her in a high chair at local restaurants,even though Rose said she suffers from a disabling social phobia! Apparently, Debby's phobia is only helped if she can have "Richard" with her. "Richard", who is a bonnet macaque monkey, is the only reason Debby can go out to Cracker Barrel or whatever other restaurant she chooses. Monkeys are generally permitted under the Americans with Disabilities Act if they perform certain tasks, as capuchin monkeys have been trained to fetch groceries from shelves for wheelchair-using patrons. However, animals that provide only emotional support fall into a gray area, according to a U.S. Justice Department spokesperson quoted by the Springfield News-Leader. [ABC News-AP, 9-16-06]
Two questions: WHY ARE THESE PEOPLE ALWAYS NAMED DEBBY? Why in the name of God did the restaurants allow DEBBY to bring in a flea ridden monkey into their establishments? EW!
posted by queen of wt at 10/06/2006 02:27:00 PM
12 Comments:
Now, now - you don't know that they wouldn't let Richard in because he was a monkey...
Maybe they thought he was a minority. Or gay. Because from what I gather, CB has little to no tolerence for anyone who falls into either of these categories...
(and, they aren't *all* named Debby. Only the girls. If they're boys, then their first name may vary, but their middle name is always Wayne.... Always.)
:)
LLA shows great wisdom! Those Red State folks aren't known for their tolerance of anything that is different.
Hell, they kept black people out of restaurants for 100 years. Now it's the monkeys' turn.
The monkeys need to get organized and find a Martin Luther King Kong.
GAh... Monkeys throw Poop. THROW. POOP. With their hands. I don't like to be touched by people I don't know, let alone a monkey in a resturaunt who may or may not have feces on it's hands.
Now wait a second, girls. These are not zoo animals, or even pets that might live outside in a pen. This kind of assistance monkey is extremely well-trained and always well-groomed. I guarantee he lives in Debby's house, so I doubt he has fleas. AND he's probably diapered most of the time, or even housetrained. Capuchins are smart little buggers. He's probably no more unhygienic than a Seeing Eye dog in a restaurant, so refusing to admit him on those grounds is unfounded. I'm not sure a monkey is the answer for an agoraphobe, but I'm pretty sure your average Cracker Barrel hostess isn't qualified to make that call, either, so it's dirty pool all around, IMHO.
Heh, I've known quite a few weirdo Debbys as well. This makes perfect sense to me, on the Debby front, at least.
As for the monkey....I really wouldn't have minded, unless it started throwing food...or WORSE. Then we have a hell of a problem.
OK, let's focus on something other than the fact that "Debby's" monkey was in a restaurant (although that fact completely grosses me out, and I'm an animal lover) - she has social phobia, and she has a MONKEY for her friend? WTF, folks? How about a HUMAN? I think I can see part of the problem right there. SHe couldn't give someone a call and say, "Hey, want to go get some lunch at Cracker Barrel?" It's easier to get a MONKEY cleaned up, diapered, etc. and take IT instead? Weird-o-rama, people.
1. Monkeys do not throw feces as part of everyday behavior. Some species of primates- and NOT macaques- do so during territorial disputes to frighten away interlopers they perceive as predators or usurpers.
2. Monkeys are not dirty.
2 1/2. They're cleaner than a Cracker Barrel, anyways.
Yet they will allow fat, smelly, greasy-looking humans to "dine" there.
I'd rather sit beside the monkey.
So I almost got mauled by a MONKEY at Wal-Mart. Yes. A MONKEY. An honest to god living breathing monkey. BTW, I live in MISSOURI.
Ok...let me explain. I work as a cashier at Wal-Mart. I really despise that place with a passion, and that is where I began my life as a spine patient.
The other day, I was working at one of the busiest registers in the store. I was really tired and sore and just wanted a percocet. I looked at the customer behind the one I was helping, and she was holding what appeared to be a child. It had its back to me, so I didn't get a really good look at it, but it was wearing children's clothes. On second inspection, it was a friggin MONKEY.
Ok, I'm cool with monkeys. I'm even cool with Monkees. UNTIL!!!!!!!!!
This woman explained to me he was a service monkey named Richard. Ok, cool....whatever. I asked her, "You mean to help parapelgics?" I had just seen a show on that!! Then she says, "No, I have an invisible disability, and he's an alert-assist monkey." Ok...I know about invisible disabilities, so I was TOTALLY fine with that. THEN!
The monkey latches a hold of this woman, flings itself away from me, sticks his lips out as far as he can get them, and proceeds to start BARKING at me!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT WHAT!!! THEN THEN THEN she says, "Richard PLEASE DONT TOUCH HER!" OMG WHAT?? I respond to this by literally saying, "OH SHIT! please don't touch me Richard!!!!"
I cannot possibly put into words how bad this monkey scared the poop outta me. I told her, "Ma'am I have to admit, I am quite terrified of your monkey. Is he going to get mad if I try to put your bags into your cart??" This lady laughs at me and says "No...I can tell you're scared of him, I'll take him over here." Ok that DEFINITELY sounds like a plan. Then she's over at the end of my lane going, "Richard, why are you acting like that?? Did she scare you Richard?!"
OMG I so didn't care why Richard was freaking out, but that piece of crap monkey scared me to death. What do you do if a MONKEY tries to MAUL YOU!?!? I mean SERIOUSLY here I am trying to do my pathetic menial little job in the middle of the heartland of America and a MONKEY wants to eat me in Wal-Mart. Then to add insult to injury, this Customer Service Manager that I do not get along with walks up to the monkey (who has been spazzing out for like 5 minutes) and says "Hey Richard how's it hanging? Give me five!" And the monkey gives her a high five but HATES me!! It's like Hey SCREW YOU richard!! What did I do?!
Then when the lady goes to pay me, do you know what she does?! She SAT THE MONKEY DOWN ON THE CART AND LET GO OF HIM! So what's keeping him from flying at my head and eating my face off!?
I know if this had happened to anyone other than me I would be dying laughing, but I swear to God above I have a phobia of monkeys now!
He isn't a capuchin monkey. He is a bonnet macaque. They have a history of BEING AGGRESSIVE.
Does this anxiety attack lady need so much attention that she has to drag her monkey around everywhere she goes. You know what, get over it, NO SHIRTS NO SHOES NO MONKEYS, not that I really mind the monkey as much as this lady using it in the name of overcoming anxiety attacks-- ok, I have a pet tiger to help me overcome mine, and my neighbor has a python for the same purpose, let's go make a zoo out of the grocery store. Idgits get a clue...
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