My 7 year old wears a Women's Small

Okay---now I am steamed. I was back-to-school shopping last week (of course, I was late as I am WT). Getting kids clothes, picking through the remains of summer stuff since it's so hot. Saw some women's shirts---my 7 year old girl grabs one of the shirts, holds it up to her and...IT FITS. There is something really really wrong in the world, wrong with the clothing industry when a 48 pound girl can wear a shirt made for a grown women. It's not like the shirt is too big either----the shirt FITS. And what is even worse---the shirt she tried on was not a fluke. She could wear a whole bunch of them. I am not a monkey women hot bodied 40 year old. However I am not morbidly obese either. But while I used to wear a size 6 or size 8-----I now find myself having to purchase larger sizes because the sizes I used to wear...SHRUNK. Has this happened to anyone else? Have I gone mad? Or is the fashion industry just out-of-it's mind? Let me know.

More Back to School Tips

Do-Blow dry hair and perhaps even wear lipstick when visiting school events (at least the first week). Don't-Drink heavily until after school events. Do-Read one normal magazine before school event. Instead of the usual PEOPLE mag (the bible), read something that you must use your brain for. Makes you sound well read even if you are not. Don't-Wear weird shoes. Don't-Wear the low rise jeans that show your underwear. Don't-Put any of the "climber" mothers or members of the MUFFIA on edge. Do-Smile. Until it hurts. Do-Act like you are happy that kids are back in school. Do-Book a highlight next week or some kind of upkeep. Do-Write me back at this blog and tell me stories of your Back to School hell.

Back to School Night---Keep Your WT in the Closet

Hello Fellow WT Moms (and Dads): While I am very proud that I am one generation from the trailer park, and I cherish my talent for seeking out WT products, my WT persona only goes so far. There are certain key events and time periods where your WT tendancies need to remain in the background. Back to School Night is one of those times where your WT references and your WT humor need to remain in the closet. Sure, it may be funny to want to put the social climbers and the "muffia" mom gestapo on edge by suggesting that next year's ice cream social be a kegger. Or to suggest that the school fundraiser should be selling the SMOKING DONKEY or the SMOKING ELEPHANT that is featured on my web site (www.whitetrashpalace.com). HOWEVER, before you take these very excellent suggestions to the head of the PTA----please remember----WT MOMs are funny but NOT FOR THE CHILDREN! If you do make one of these excellent suggestions listed above to an evil MUFFIA MOM member, you can be sure that your children will be the ones that pay for your short-lived fun. As hard as it is to stomach, please remember to keep your fun and WT mom under wraps for school events like these as they are significant for your children. The caste system that defines modern elementary and middle school pecking order has not become enlightened to the fact that WT humor (and humor in general) is a great way to approach life. So until the day when the PTA president DOES think a kegger would make a fabulous fundraiser, put a sock in it. Just wear your nice clothes (leave your CAN'T SLEEP, CLOWNS WILL EAT ME tee shirt a home), use hair products to style your hair and just put on a big fake smile like all of the rest of the parents. Then, make plans with your WT mom pals for serious drinking post-school event. Only 7 more days and counting until school begins......