Our Lady of Perpetual Shopping

Dear WTMs, I am recovering from my 25th high school reunion. I am trying to post about it but I still feel too lousy to write. I didn't even drink that much but I have felt like ca-ca every since Sunday AM. Reality sucks. I am posting later tonight but had to share something from the weekend with you. One of my high school friends made me a belt buckle that had the above "Saint" on it. Naturally, since I went to a Catholic high school, many of my high school friends have kind of a twisted sense of humor. If you are offended by the above "faux" Saint, please go away. I am on my last nerve today since those strange children (who are calling me MOM) keep asking me to take them places or to feed them. Will talk later tonight. After I've started to drink again.

Starving My Children

Dear WTMs, Apparently, I am systematically starving my children. According to my 12 year old daughter: Other moms fix LUNCH for their kids. You NEVER fix us lunch. We have to fix ourselves pb&j sandwiches for lunch every day. I wish I could do my almost teen daughter's voice for you on the blog because it is quite pitiful. Reason #468 why my kids will need therapy later on...I make them fix their own lunch in the summer. I really have no strong moral principal about the kids fixing their own lunch. I am just lazy and I think that if I have sandwich stuff, fruit and some carrots they can pretty much fix themselves lunch during the summer vacation. However, this week in our household was kind of bad one in terms of lunch materials for the poor starving children. The girls and I just returned from a weekend trip, so I didn't go to the store over the weekend. I am not really eating much this week, as my 25th high school reunion is this weekend and I am trying to lose 10 pounds before the weekend. Very realistic. So with no store run and me not eating, the kids REALLY DID NOT have much to choose from for lunch materials. Yesterday they ate crackers and pretzels with peanut butter because there is no bread, no cheese, no meat in the house. There is no more fruit as of this AM because my nephew was here last night and he loves grapes. There is oatmeal...but no milk. There is some THAI soup mix. It is, even by my WT standards, pretty sad. I will probably have to make a light store run today just so one of the neighbors doesn't hotline me to social services. WTMs, do you starve your offspring in the summer? Or am I, like my daughter claims, the ONLY mother on the planet that makes her kids fix their own lunch?

Trust But Verify and Other Travel Tips

"Trust but Verify" -President Ronald Reagan, regarding the Russians during Cold War Dear WTMs, President Reagan is known for making that quote about the USSR during the Cold War. Sure, he trusted the "Commies" but he liked to "verify". Doesn't matter if you loved Reagan, thought he was the devil or somewhere in the middle. This philosophy comes in very handy as a mother. This philosophy is especially relevant in my life as I packed for on a short weekend trip with "the girls". The girls and I are visiting one of my best friends and her family this weekend. I am taking a short "blog break" right now and relaxing. But I just had to share the pre-trip packing experience, preparing for this quick trip, as it will hit close to home with you WTM readers. My girls are 12 and 8. Older daughter gets more responsibilities and perks but I am letting them both do more things this summer that reflect my growing confidence in their maturity. I trust them but I verify. For example-My 8 year old wants to pack her own suitcase. Fine. She was passionate about her mother not laying all her clothing out "like a baby". She is, in case I was unaware, going into THIRD GRADE. Practically college aged, right? So I let her "pack". She goes to bed Thursday night. I check her duffel bag. I swear I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP. I was laughing as I figured it would probably be as "scary" as it was-----I had a stash of her stuff in my bedroom ready to pack----but I let her do it, just so I could say that I did. Contents of her bag for a 4 day weekend (after several talks about what to bring and a pile of clothing laid out for her):

• A walkie talkie
• American girl doll clothing (Two sets with NO American Girl doll being taken)
• Gum
• Two very old VHS tapes of Kid Movies
• Two pairs of flip flops
• A purse from my sister
• Pictures she drew (sweet)
• Books
• PJs
• Underwear

In the mind of my 8 year old, the above list is perfectly fine for a 4 day trip. Trust but Verify, right WTMs?

Guy Kawasaki Likes White Trash Mom

Dear WTMs, Guy Kawasaki, one of my FAVORITE business writers, mentioned the white trash mom blog in one of HIS blogs yesterday. I was totally floored by this because I read his blog and I love his book "The Art of the Start". Mr. Kawasaki runs a successful venture capital firm and is very easy to understand---for a newbie geek like me. His style is refreshing and very down to earth. The irony is that the last few months I have been trying to raise capital to expand the jeans business. I have been getting kicked around pretty hard and have not had much success. One of my favorite authors/business gurus notices the White Trash Mom blog. Isn't that a scream? Only in America! Alanis Morissette says it best, don't you think? Have a good one WTMs!
Ironic by Alanis Morissette

An old man turned ninety-eight
He won the lottery and died the next day
It's a black fly in your Chardonnay
It's a death row pardon two minutes too late
Isn't it ironic... don't you think?

It's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
Who would've thought... it figures

Mr. Play It Safe was afraid to fly
He packed his suitcase and kissed his kids goodbye
He waited his whole damn life to take that flight
And as the plane crashed down he thought
"Well isn't this nice..."
And isn't it ironic... don't you think?

It's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
Who would've thought... it figures

Well life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
When you think everything's okay and everything's going right
And life has a funny way of helping you out when
You think everything's gone wrong and everything blows up
In your face

A traffic jam when you're already late
A no-smoking sign on your cigarette break
It's like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife
It's meeting the man of my dreams
And then meeting his beautiful wife
And isn't it ironic... don't you think?
A little too ironic... and yeah I really do think...

It's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
Who would've thought... it figures

Life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
Life has a funny, funny way of helping you out
Helping you out 

WTM Decorating

Dear WTMs, I have been decorating, the white trash mom way, for my older daughter's room. She is in the "I am 12-I need to make my room a place my friends and I can hang out in- phase" and since she still has the furniture that she had in her nursery, I can't really blame her too much. Okay---so I have been painting furniture and prepping walls the last few days. I did all the crap that HGTV said would make my painting experience a good one. I purchased all the products and paint that was supposed to make the project look great. Yet the furniture looks like "ca-ca". I did everything that I was supposed to do yet it looks BAD. Not the "Charming-Shabby Chic" type of bad. I mean BAD. Like a toddler took a brush and smeared it all over the furniture. REALLY LOUSY. I have been trying to patch up my mistakes yet it still looks awful. As much as I bag on "Pottery Barn Kids" and the like, their furniture looks great------how in the HELL to they do it? Anyone? Bueller? I await the advice of my WTM network for answers!