Friday, August 18, 2006

But We LIKE Being Tall...

Have you ever been in the sort of situation where another adult is talking to your child in a tone of voice like she's giving motherly advice, only to realize she's a freakin' wack job? This happened to us just yesterday. We were (naturally) buying last-minute uniform shirts from the required store. They were all out of the size I thought my daughter needed, so she had tried on the next size up, which though big, was not ridiculously so. The shirts are 50/50, so they won't be shrinking, and the kids have to keep them tucked in. Plus, she needs to wear this particular style two more years. I figure with a little bit of luck, this may be our last round of red shirts with the logo. Anyway, I came back from discovering that the next size down was, indeed, sold out, only to find the saleslady chatting it up with my daughter. Here's how the convo was going... Darling Daughter: "Well, I think I'd prefer the next smaller size, since this is REALLY huge." (tugging at bulk of shirt to show how roomy it was inside...) Wack Job: How old are you? DD: (visibly blushing, as all adolescent girls do, when asked anything regarding their appearance) 12. WJ: WHOA! Heavens to Betsy, girl! (surveying her general length, loudly sucking in her breath, then letting out a slow whistle and shaking her head) Same thing happened to my daughter. (sees me now standing behind her and appraises my height, as well) Uh, yeah. Trust me. You are not done growing. How tall are you? DD: (smiling uncomfortably) Just over 5'10". WJ: Geezy Pete to Moses! Yup. My daughter's 6'2". Believe me. It gets better, hon'. Uh, did we say anything about strife/sorrow/a tough row to hoe? Stuff a sock in it, lady... (OK, so I wish I'd said that. Instead, I just stood there, giving my daughter what I hoped was a sympathetic look.) WJ: Yeah, trust me. You're growing. I know all about this stuff. My daughter. Geez. The memories. The tears. Phew. Glad that's over with. The boys - well, they're just jealous 'cuz' they just wish they were taller. And the clothes - never could find any to fit. Not to mention the shoes - Zappo. com, by the way. (turning away for a moment) I'll be right with you, folks. (Not to be deterred from her life's work, she zeroes right back in on us...) Sorry. This is really inappropriate (uh, ya' think?). I just try my best to help others out where I can and all. Having gone through this terrible time ourselves and everything. Man, I'm glad those days are gone. But trust me. Really. You'll get through it. Hey, you're a pretty girl. (What - are you throwing her a bone? LWTM (That would be me - Lame White Trash Mom...): When will the smaller size be back in stock? WJ: (incredulous) You're not seriously considering getting her the smaller size? OMG, this lady will not let it go! I could take her, ya' know? I may not be meaty, but I've got muscle! I've got like 5 inches on this woman! Who am I kidding? I AM meaty. And muscle? Maybe not so much. But I'm a WT Mom, protecting her young from a wack job. And I can take her. She's goin' down... WJ: Uh, Ma'am? Are you with me? LWTM: (leaning across the counter and speaking in a slow and measured tone of voice) I'll take these two today, and please hold back three of the smaller size for us when the backordered shipment arrives. And MA'AM? We LIKE being tall. We can always see over everyone at church. We can reach everything on the top shelf at the grocery store. We even help the little old ladies when they can't reach. We never have any trouble seeing over the fatheads at the theatre (ok, I know, that wasn't very gracious, but...). When osteoporosis takes its toll on my ancient old bones some day, I'll still be a respectable 5' 9" tall. We can always find our car in a parking lot. We can find each other in a crowd. And MA'AM? My daughter is so intelligent and so beautiful that it wouldn't matter if she were four and a half feet tall or six and a half feet tall. She will walk proudly to the front of the boardroom some day. That's just who she is. Mouth gaping, Wack Job rang us up and called for the next customer. As I turned around to leave, the lady behind me winked at me. Chalk one up for the WT Moms. I may be a slow starter. But once you wind me up, look out, ladies! :)


Blogger molly said...

Good for you! I hate it when others stick their noses inappropriately into my or my kids' business. When my daughter was little, she got into a tussle in the park. She was only about 4. I went walking over, because I saw another mom standing over her as she was swinging on a swing. This mom was yelling at her and saying, "Acknowledge me, acknowledge me." First place, that's an awfully big word for a 4 year old, how'd she know my daughter knew what the word meant, and secondly, what's the first thing you teach your child when they go to play in the park - DON'T TALK TO STRANGERS! I had a little talk with the wackadoo myself. I have no trouble talking to strangers. Glad you spoke up, and with dignity.

8/18/2006 4:47 PM  
Blogger Sunnie (Kaytee) said...

Good for you! I also hate it when condescending people talk down to my children. Obviously your daughter wasn't there shopping by herself. WJ should have known a parent was around. It's NOT her place to questin what size you were intending to buy. It's her job to sell you said size.
I know I wouldn't have been as polite as you. LOL Kudos to you.

8/18/2006 7:19 PM  
Blogger Jackie said...

Ya know i have to say Job Very Well Done. I have nephews who feel like my own and i hate it when anyone tries to talk down to them. I could only imagine what it would feel like if they were my own.

8/18/2006 8:04 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

effin a, biatch! you really told her.

next time some old lady sales lady tries to help out, lil' bit will know she dont owe no props to the biatch just cause she's old, that the hired help aint here to help, just to shut the f up and do what I tell em to, and it dont matter what the other person is tryin to do, just so you get the chance to sound off like some smart ass. And dont even get me started on that tall, amazon crap....

yeah you really taught her a lesson

8/19/2006 5:02 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You GO girl! I always get some goober commenting on my kids' height or shoe size when we're out shopping. I'm 5'8", DH is 6'1" and we both have skiis for feet (literally - I wear an 11, he wears a 13) ....what the heck did you *think* the product of our procreation was gonna look like?

8/19/2006 7:43 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Totally been there. I was 5'10+ at age 12 in 1962!! The whole world was shorter. And there was always someoe with a helpful comment. ;o) ............ I am still 5'10+ and my refrigerater has never been dusty on top!!

8/19/2006 9:06 AM  
Anonymous sanshie said...

OMG, both my little boys are 99th percentile in height, and we've been getting shit like this for ages. Thanks for showing me how to handle it! Love it!!

8/19/2006 4:36 PM  
Blogger plantain said...

I've been 6ft since I was about 13.. only now learning to love it... but my absolute pet peeve is when trying on jeans and they stop at the ankles...and the salesgirl is all "Oh no, they are supposed to fall there, they look great".
My baby is 9 months old and is quite big...I claim I'm planning an early retirement on his future NBA earnings... but it still shits me when someone says... Oooh he's big... I mean, duh, he's got a 6ft mummy and a 6ft 2inch daddy!

8/19/2006 8:41 PM  
Blogger Stefanie said...

I love it. I can never keep my mouth shut when confronted with a WJ. Yesterday I was in Trader Joe's with the babe and she was standing in the cart as she is wont to do when a WJ approached us and chastised me for letting E stand in the cart. She was clearly crazy and told me that the reason people get sick is from kids standing in the carts with their dirty shoes. I think that dirty shoes are the least of the cart problems. Those carts are filthy way before my kid's feet get to them. And why are you putting food in the cart that's not wrapped? Anyway...good for you for sticking up for your child!

8/19/2006 10:42 PM  
Anonymous Shelly said...

My daughter is almost 6 & is the height of most 8 to 9 years olds. She gets comments all the time from people who really should have better manners about her height. I only hope I can be brave enough to handle rude people the way you did!

8/20/2006 12:40 PM  
Blogger Sharpie said...

AMEN - WE DO like being tall. I am 5' 9" and all is true!!

8/21/2006 10:14 AM  
Blogger tacky princess said...

Thanks for your kudo's, my WT sisters! We gotta' stick together!

8/21/2006 8:07 PM  
Blogger Starry Lady said...

**applause from a tall girl**

I can't imagine not being tall...
Your speach was beautiful

8/21/2006 9:07 PM  

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