Tuesday, April 25, 2006

When Approaching a 4 Way Stop, The Vehicle with the Largest TIRES Has the Right of Way

While stopped at an intersection in our busy suburb yesterday, I read this bumper sticker: "When Approaching a 4 Way Stop, the Vehicle with the Largest TIRES Has the Right of Way". Naturally, the vehicle sporting this lovely little piece of verbiage was a HUGE red pickup truck, with tires the size of Dallas, and jacked up to make the truck bed about 5 feet off the ground. I had to laugh, but it got me to thinking. Lest any of our newer readers be confused, I'd like to reiterate what it means to be a White Trash Mom. Understanding that we all have our own definition, there are certainly some boundaries. Perfect Mom's beware: If you see yourself in too many of these scenarios, you might be the ones in whose general direction we are, indeed, casting aspersions. Forgive me if I am boring those of you who have been with us since the beginning. But there are still people out there who think we are referring to the female equivalent of Jeff Foxworthy here. And that is just not the case. So, just a few points in review. If you need more, just browse our plethora of previous posts on this topic! To Clarify: Just because you have a gnome in your front yard does not make you a White Trash Mom. Now, on the other hand, if you absolutely had to have that gnome because it made you stand out from all of your dull neighbors, then you are definitely headed down the right path. If you eat Colonel Sanders chicken every night, does that make you a White Trash Mom? Not necessarily. Do you do it because that is your passion? Then, probably not. However, if you get take-out from your buddy the Colonel because you didn't have to cook it, your WTH is out of town (again), and that is the one thing your little cherubs can agree upon, then, you guessed it. You are on the path to White Trash Mommyhood. Is there crap everywhere in your house? Does it feel as if there is never enough time in the day to get it all picked up? And even if there were but it would require you missing the latest episode of CSI, Gray's Anatomy or Project Runway, and that means it's going to have to stay that way a little (ok, a lot...) longer, you are truly one of us. Is you makeup just right? Do you make sure to shave your legs before picking up the kids from school? Did you remember the teacher's birthday? Then, you are waaaaay too perfect, Missy. Don't even try to get that neck sunburned... How about the kids? Who are their friends? Are they all carbon copies of each other? Do we encourage this? (snore...). You know who you are. On the other hand, when you can no longer see the bottom of the floor in the laundry room (Mount Washmore), you know that you've been spending time with your kids, even if they have been eating with the Colonel. And if Mount Washmore grows a little taller, that's all right, too. Tomorrow is another day. Congrats. You are a WTM. And referring to the Queen of WT herself, when you find out the rosary that you purchased for your soon-to-be First Communicant has boogers in it (see 4/6/6 post), would that really piss you off, gross you out and prevent you from giving it to her? I'm sorry, but if so, you've got some Muffia Mom soul searching to do.

14 Comments:

Blogger Plumkrazzee said...

If you appreciate your son's newfound love of the mohawk hairstyle, and turn up "Hell Yea" by Montgomery Gentry every time you are parked next to a Muffia at a traffic light....does that count?

4/25/2006 10:47 AM  
Blogger tacky princess said...

You go, girl!

4/25/2006 10:51 AM  
Blogger Wendy said...

Last week I had a scare and thought I was veering too far into the Land of Muffia. You see, I actually wore shoes to the elementary school spring concert. I mean, the very nerve of me not to go barefoot like a bunch of the other moms.

4/25/2006 11:35 AM  
Blogger Shadiva said...

Ah yeah! I'm almost halfway there...just gotta have this baby before I can be the mom. I already have Mount St. Washmore (highest point in the state! Yes!), I can't be bothered to clean house while American Idol is on and tonight we're having Pigs in a Blanket because I'm too lazy to cook something real. I'm a WTM-in-training, right?

4/25/2006 1:01 PM  
Blogger The Chublucky Shamrock said...

On a somewhat related note...have you all seen this:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/12389715/

The title of this article is "Welcome to White Trash Nation"

4/25/2006 2:57 PM  
Blogger Fidget said...

BWHAHAHA you call it Mt Wasmore too - i feel such a kinship

4/25/2006 9:00 PM  
Blogger Zeus said...

Sweet blog like it.

You need a Recycling Bin for all your trash though.

4/25/2006 11:38 PM  
Blogger Melanie said...

What if your house only APPEARS clean, but really, it's just a long series of one having licked their finger, then smearing it on the offending spot? Can I still be a WTM??? (And yeah, I totally have the Mt. Washmore)
And, what if I'm a Republican? Can I STILL be a WTM???
How about, if I'm skinny, but wear jammies to the kid's schools? Does that count? I'm hoping yes. :)

4/26/2006 6:51 AM  
Blogger R. Robyn said...

I don't have any Muffia soul searching to do. I'm not even a mom yet, and I know exactly what kind I'll be.


The WHITE TRASH kind!

4/26/2006 7:54 AM  
Blogger Jill said...

Love your blog!! I fit in well...especially the TV before housework rule!!!

4/26/2006 9:00 AM  
Blogger tacky princess said...

To Melanie: As long as you aren't sneering at those who are not so thin as yourself and preening in the rear view mirror every chance you get, YOU ARE IN!

Smiles, TP

4/26/2006 8:59 PM  
Blogger Melanie said...

t.p. - I have loose skin and stretch marks. I'm not preening, I'm pruning!!!

And sneering? Only at the gals with full hairspray and make-up and zero dark thirty. (who ARE sneering)

I'm in?! Right on! :)

You gals rock!

4/27/2006 6:48 AM  
Blogger Seo Link Master said...

Fuel is the adrenaline of any car, truck or engine. Thus, it is every vehicle owner's wish to enhance the fuel of their car and save more of it as well. With this in mind, the most innovative fuel-saving tool in the automotive industry was conceptualized and created: the Tornado Fuel saver. An automotive air channeling tool that creates a swirling air motion, the Tornado Fuel Saver allows the air to move in a faster and more efficient way by whirling air around corners and bends. Hence, more fuel is saved.

2/19/2008 5:23 AM  
Blogger zhengbin said...

Kauf und Verkauf von Gold in den thomas sabo Goldmarkt hat viel an Popularität gewonnen, sind thomas sabo shop Gold-Nuggets und Goldmünzen im Handel erhältlich herkömmlichen thomas sabo jewellery Wege der Kauf und Verkauf bei niedrigen wenn thomas sabo schmuck high.Tips Gold und Silver.Have eine thomassabo online shop klare Vorstellung davon, warum die Schmuck thomas sabo onlineshop verkaufen muss, um verkauft werden und Scout für die sabo schmuck entsprechende buyer.Volume aus Gold oder thomas sabo shop online Silber zu einem Zeitpunkt verkauft werden bestimmen den Verkaufspreis und die Verhandlungsmacht thomas sabo charm club der seller.Purity bestimmt auch den Endpreis der verkauften Artikel.

10/28/2010 12:01 AM  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home