Ding Dong, The Train Track's Gone & Is That a Biff?
Tacky Princess reporting for duty. You heard it here first. The child whose head was spinning around this time last week? Well, she’s officially "train track-less". She has perfectly straight, gleaming teeth, and the sassy smile to go with them (not to mention sassy attititude to accompany said smile…). And no, that's not her real mouth to left. Do you think I'm that naive? That I'd expose my own blood to the Muffia that way? Not a chance, sister. Now it’s on to full-time retainer wearing. I’m not sure she was quite prepared for that one. The ortho, with his permanently affixed smile – - I’m oh so confident it’s there even when he sleeps - - gave her the rundown of new instructions, which include NO GUM. I thought my precious little 14 year old was going to faint. She seriously thought he was kidding. It’s going to be like full-time Lent at our house. We take away her gum as punishment, and it’s one of those harder on us than on her things, you know? It would be like a WT mom without her morning 50-gallon drum of coffee to get her going. Only the gum-chewing starts as soon as K can get a piece in her mouth after school. The end of the summer and full-time chewing privileges is bad enough, what with the mourning period and all. She's already grouchy, and it hasn't even been 24 hours yet. Four months of NO GUM? I don’t know…this is disturbing, to say the least. And then, the man with the plastic smile went on to say that if she forgot she had her retainers in and chewed gum by mistake anyway (does he think she's a dolt, or what?), she could always just put them in the freezer and peel the gum off later. EEEEOOOH! How can you say that with that plastic grin? That’s just wrong!!!!! I’m thinking he must be the male form of Muffia. What might that be? A Biff? Please do weigh in on this most important WT MOM matter. I’ll take my rugged, misses-the-toilet-now-and-then hulk of a hubby any day over a Biff. But that’s another story for another day now, isn’t it? :)