Thursday, October 13, 2005

Ding Dong, The Train Track's Gone & Is That a Biff?

Tacky Princess reporting for duty. You heard it here first. The child whose head was spinning around this time last week? Well, she’s officially "train track-less". She has perfectly straight, gleaming teeth, and the sassy smile to go with them (not to mention sassy attititude to accompany said smile…). And no, that's not her real mouth to left. Do you think I'm that naive? That I'd expose my own blood to the Muffia that way? Not a chance, sister. Now it’s on to full-time retainer wearing. I’m not sure she was quite prepared for that one. The ortho, with his permanently affixed smile – - I’m oh so confident it’s there even when he sleeps - - gave her the rundown of new instructions, which include NO GUM. I thought my precious little 14 year old was going to faint. She seriously thought he was kidding. It’s going to be like full-time Lent at our house. We take away her gum as punishment, and it’s one of those harder on us than on her things, you know? It would be like a WT mom without her morning 50-gallon drum of coffee to get her going. Only the gum-chewing starts as soon as K can get a piece in her mouth after school. The end of the summer and full-time chewing privileges is bad enough, what with the mourning period and all. She's already grouchy, and it hasn't even been 24 hours yet. Four months of NO GUM? I don’t know…this is disturbing, to say the least. And then, the man with the plastic smile went on to say that if she forgot she had her retainers in and chewed gum by mistake anyway (does he think she's a dolt, or what?), she could always just put them in the freezer and peel the gum off later. EEEEOOOH! How can you say that with that plastic grin? That’s just wrong!!!!! I’m thinking he must be the male form of Muffia. What might that be? A Biff? Please do weigh in on this most important WT MOM matter. I’ll take my rugged, misses-the-toilet-now-and-then hulk of a hubby any day over a Biff. But that’s another story for another day now, isn’t it? :)


Anonymous Nilla said...

Dang. I wish MY teeth were as white as the ones in that photo. I tried it the WTM way- take q.tip, dip in bleach, rub on teeth. Does it work? Actually, better then the Plus White gel + tooth tray thing I bought! Just make sure to rinse... really well.

10/14/2005 7:29 AM  
Anonymous ilovecookies said...

I like the new pink text. Quite chic.

10/14/2005 7:56 AM  
Blogger Cutetwirler said...

>sigh< I remember my brace days. I even had to wear the whole head gear at night time. It was sooo painful.
In the end, I was so annoyed with having to wear different braces for 2 years straight, I didn;t do the retainer for the last month, and now have overlapping bottom front teeth- DON'T LET HER GIVE UP!!!!

10/14/2005 1:25 PM  
Blogger krysten said...

i am right there with you cutetwirler...i wore braces for three years in middle school, complete with the night-time headgear...and then once they came off i was so fed up that i only sporadically wore my retainers...needless to say, my bottom teeth give no evidence of even a day in train tracks.

how i wish they would have put a permanent retainer in on my bottom teeth....keep on her! the retainers are important!

10/15/2005 8:56 AM  
Anonymous jane said...

I removed a permanent retaining wire on my lower teeth for my senior myself...with PLIERS. It was scheduled to come out anyway, and my orthodontist refused to squeeze me in (it took all of five minutes). My mom tried to be mad, but she was too amused, and my pictures were GREAT.

I always associate Biff with the bully in Back to the Future. How about Chaz?

10/16/2005 10:27 AM  
Blogger tacky princess said...

Hmmm, Chaz. Seems a little citified, doesn't it? I know what you mean about Back to the Future, though. And a Biff isn't necessarily stupid like the one in the movie, either. He's just an arrogant jerk. Anyone else? :)

10/16/2005 8:43 PM  
Anonymous Nilla said...

Hmmm.... "Snobby Bobby".... "Plastic Francis".... "Foofie" ... "Stuck up Jerk= Juck" okay, brain all out of ideas.

10/17/2005 12:03 PM  
Anonymous genericpharmaceuticals said...

my dad still refers to such guys as "poindexters"; but that brings to mind someone who actually knows how to read. definitely not someone muffy would lose her panties over.

10/18/2005 2:23 PM  
Blogger Barb, sfo said...

Having attended high school with lots of "Muffys" during the preppy era of the 1980's, I can tell you that the Guy Equivalent of Muffy is "Skip."

So what happens to the Princess when she takes her retainer out of the freezer, removes the gum, and puts the frozen retainer into her mouth? Is Skip going to be responsible for the damage?

10/18/2005 4:47 PM  
Anonymous Colleen said...

Methinks Brad is the name you are looking for. As in "Brad just got promoted to middle management at the pencil factory. With his pay raise we can upgrade the Caravan to a Grand Caravan!"

10/19/2005 2:37 PM  

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